Author: admin Ben Wa Balls Giveaway

Are you familiar with Ben Wa balls?

These small, weighted balls can be inserted into the vagina to:

  • Tighten the pelvic muscle;
  • Strengthen the bladder;
  • Help a woman achieve a vaginal (G-spot) orgasm;
  • Heighten orgasm; and/or
  • Increase pleasure during clitoral or anal play.

A reader recently inquired why she didn't notice a difference after inserting the balls inside herself for the entire day. View these kegel exercizers much like you would a trip to the gym to work on a specific muscle group. You don't want to overwork your muscles, and a little bit each day will yield more sustainable results. (It's doubtful that you'll notice a difference immediately either, even with extended use.) There's no need to set a timer when you insert the Ben Wa balls, but if you're trying to strengthen your pelvic muscles, keep the balls inside of you for 10-30 minutes a day. recently introduced a pair of Ben Wa balls as part of its Official Fifty Shades of Grey Collection. This collection is the only one to be approved by the trilogy's author, EL James. 

"This range is what I always imagined while I was writing Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm so excited that the toys I described in the books have come to life and can now be enjoyed around the world." ~EL James

Thanks to, one lucky reader will win a pair of Fifty Shades of Grey Delicious Pleasure Silicone Ben Wa Balls!


Relive Ana's pleasure and experience excellent pelvic toning with the official Fifty Shades of Grey silicone pleasure balls. Wear them as you go about your everyday tasks or as an accessory to foreplay for a build up to a breathtaking climax.

"I am going to put these inside you, and then I'm going to spank you, not for punishment, but for your pleasure and mine." – Christian Grey

Discover why Ana Steele adores her silver balls with this smooth silicone kegel exerciser and revel in the sensual feeling of 2 weighted balls massaging your G-spot as they jiggle with the most subtle of movements. The action of flexing your muscles around the smooth balls also tones your pelvic floor muscles, leading to greater control during sex and more intense orgasms.

Experience Ana and Christian's pleasure by slipping the smooth ball inside your vagina before a sensual spanking session and stimulate your sweet spots as the weighted balls respond to the action of your play.

Enhance solo play by wearing the Delicious Pleasure balls during clitoral stimulation or wear them during foreplay for a heightened response to stimulation from your partner.

Perfectly sized for kegel ball beginners, the Delicious Pleasure silicone balls have a comfortable girth and light weight for a non-intimidating introduction to vaginal toning exercises. Each ball weighs 32g, giving a combined weight of 64g for an effective workout.

Comment below to enter with the following phrase for a chance to win these Ben Wa balls:

I want to win the Delicious Pleasure Silicone Ben Wa Balls from!

This giveaway will run through Friday, May 10, 2013. The winner must reside in the United States. Only one comment per person. The winner will be chosen randomly via Pursuant to FTC Guidelines, no compensation or goods have been received in exchange for this post.

Good luck!

The ‘S’ Word

Over the years, I’ve thrown quite a few baby showers for friends. Some have been simple, while others have been elaborate with budgets that would cause you to raise your eyebrows. Since I love party planning and babies, I've liked serving as a shower hostess.

When it came to celebrating Baby Girl’s arrival, though, I cringed every time someone mentioned the ‘S’ word.

“You HAVE to have a shower!” several friends implored. “That’s what people do!”

“When have you ever known me to do something because of others?” I replied.

“You’ll need so many things for the baby!” a few exclaimed.

“It seems presumptuous for me to have an event where there’s an expectation that people buy me gifts. I also don’t like the thought of having the friends who will help when she’s here spending all this money on throwing me a shower and getting me gifts,” I responded.

“Don’t you want to be celebrated?” two friends inquired.

“I know I’m open about a lot of things, but I don’t want to be the center of attention because I’m pregnant,” I commented.

As more and more friends approached me about a possible shower, I realized that some of this was about them…and that wasn’t a bad thing. Many of these friends had been through a lot with me over the past three years. Now, we had something – and someone – to celebrate!

So, while at Peacock Café for lunch, a few dear friends and I talked about an event to fete the upcoming arrival of Baby Girl.

“What about an evening cocktail reception?” one friend asked, as I nodded my head in agreement.

“Co-ed!” another friend exclaimed, as she knew that I’d want The Man and several close guy friends there.

I smiled and exhaled, thinking to myself that this sounded like fun! The hostesses also respected my wishes not to: 1) have games; 2) have decorations; or 3) open gifts in front of everyone. (I always feel like the latter is an awkward waste of time that could be better spent enjoying each other’s company!)

The reception was held last weekend, and I’m still smiling because of it! Picture forty good friends in a large private room with a bar, hor d’oeuvres, whoopie pies, and lounge music. When the crowd dwindled down, the lounge music was turned off, and the dance party began! Although the reception was supposed to end at 8pm, some of us didn’t leave until 10:45pm!

With the fabulous hostesses and dessert maker

They snuck a belly shot in!

Photo Credits: Kipp Burgoyne Photography

Thanks to the wonderful hostesses and all who attended for their love, support and generosity! The fact that I made it through a shower-esque event without playing baby games or having to wear a hat made of bows was icing on the cake ;).

What are your thoughts on baby showers?

Have you gone to one that you particularly enjoyed?

50 Shades Class in AmWord Magazine

Earlier in the semester, Alex Korba, a writer for the American University literary magazine, asked if she could interview me regarding my 50 Shades trilogy class. Alex's article is available in the latest issue of AmWord Magazine and reprinted with permission below. (Fellow bloggers might find the last paragraph to be especially relevant!) Hope you enjoy the piece as much as I did!

Fifty Shades Risque? American University's Newest Class

By Alex Korba

Professor and sex educator Stef Woods came up with the idea for the course based on her interest in the double standards regarding female sexuality.

When asked why she picked Fifty Shades as the subject for the course, Woods responded passionately.

“My background is as an attorney, so I started thinking about copyright issues with books on the computer and fan fiction,” she said. “I am also a sex educator; I do a lot of health advocacy and health education. I read it and I immediately thought, this is an abusive relationship.”

It is not uncommon for college courses to use polarizing books as a lens to study cultural facets.  For example, Twilight and The Wire have both been utilized in classes as case studies to examine issues that transcend the books themselves. In the case of Fifty Shades, the very real topics of abuse and mental instability are at play. Just behind the glossy love story these issues beg for attention and they deserve to receive more of it.

Though she believes fervently in the goals of the class, Woods has no delusions as to the literary merit of the book.

“You’re not reading them as you would read a Shakespearean sonnet,” Woods said with a laugh. “You don’t have to analyze every word, or even every chapter.” As an exercise in literary criticism, the class has to edit the first chapter of the book. Woods believes this to be good practice for future careers where employers will need documents proofread promptly.

When asked her opinion on whether the Fifty Shades books give American girls an unrealistically rosy image of BD/SM relationships, Woods replied that she believes this current generation knows better.

“My entire class agrees that there are glaring control issues. The author wrote it as her fantasy and it was targeted at women of that same demographic,” she said. “Their idea of a perfect man on paper is one who takes control of everything when at the end of the day they’re just looking for a man to take out the garbage.”

Because of the controversial subject of the class, opposition is inevitable. Since its publication, the series has been dubbed “mommy-porn” and received scathing reviews by many reporters. This didn’t stop hordes of women from flocking to the bookstores and firing up their Kindles. If anything, the taboo reputation served to increase the book’s popularity.  Like these women, Woods is not fazed by the book’s repute.

 “It’s not a book club,” Woods asserted, “There are 60 other resources. My syllabus is 11 pages single-spaced. I stand by my work product; I stand by this course idea. If you think it’s an easy A, that’s not my class.”

When asked whether she would consider teaching the class again next semester, Woods shrugged and responded, “It’s a short shelf-life class.” She continued on to say that she is very interested in teaching a course with the topic of blogging as a social force. In a world where technology is ever changing, Woods is a professor unafraid to adapt to the changes, even if it means embracing a subject that she could potentially catch flack for.

“Opposition? Ok, that’s fine,” she said dismissively. “For every compliment there’ll be a hundred criticisms, especially in an anonymous online world.”

ER Round Two

During my last sonogram two weeks ago, Baby Girl weighed in at four pounds and one ounce. The average fetal weight at 31 weeks is three pounds and five ounces. Given Dr. Real Deal’s concerns that her weight would be below average, this was wonderful news!

Although not problematic, my weight is far from ideal. In eight weeks, I’ve only gained two pounds. That’s not the norm at this stage of pregnancy. On the one hand, my doctors aren’t too concerned since Baby Girl is growing so well. On the other hand, they'd feel better if I gained some weight as a cushion.

My health over the past month resembles my pre-pregnancy and pre-cancer health. I get sick on an almost daily basis. On those days when I’m also hit with a migraine, I get dehydrated very quickly since I don’t have much in the reserves.

On Monday morning, I woke up dry heaving and didn’t have any luck keeping crackers or ginger ale down. I threw myself a pity party in the bathroom for a few minutes, as I tried to figure out how I would be able to get through these bad health days while caring for a newborn.  For some odd reason, I decided to pull up my Facebook feed in the midst of everything else and saw this image:

As has been a recurring theme in my life, I was reminded yet again that the opposite of fear is faith. My tears subsided, as did the pity party. The vomiting unfortunately continued.

Later that afternoon, I ended up in the ER for dehydration. I highly doubt I would have needed to go to the ER two times in two weeks if I had been able to take my very strong migraine medicine while pregnant. IV fluids, along with pain and anti-nausea medications, helped break this migraine cycle, but there's concern that a pattern is developing. I can resume my old migraine medicine after she arrives on May 31st, but my doctors and I hope that I'm not in and out of the ER until then.

While I was in the hospital, the ER doctor checked Baby Girl’s heartbeat, and thankfully all is well. Her strength continues to give me strength, and I’m constantly reminded of His strength. Any mother you talk to has to juggle many balls in the air at once. Once Baby Girl is here, I’ll have to do the same. I’m not exactly sure how it will work out, but I have faith that it will.

The Big 4-0

I’m 40. The big 4-0.


Some view this milestone as one to be dreaded and feel the need to justify that 40 isn't that old.

“Forty is the new thirty,” they say to reassure themselves.

Others bemoan reaching this year.

"This is middle age! It's all downhill from here!" they exclaim.

When I hear those comments, I always respond the same way:

"Every birthday is one to celebrate!"

Losing my mom at a relatively young age and beating ascending paralysis, a botched neurosurgery and cancer have that effect on a person. I don't take the fact that life is a gift for granted!

Ten years ago, I was practicing immigration for a large law firm. Now, I couldn't imagine stepping away from teaching to return to the law. At 30, I had recently started dating Lawyer Boy and was still spending time with Baseball Boy. Now, I have neither the time nor the inclination for relationship drama or ambiguity. In 2003, I used my AOL email account on occasion. In the current age of social media, my active participation on several sites has surprisingly enriched my life. Ten years ago, I wasn't sure that I wanted to be a mom. Now, with motherhood seven weeks away, I can't wait! I'm thankful for where life has taken me, even the difficult parts, but I'm even more thankful for what lies ahead.

My wishes on this day are few, but significant:

  • I hope that I continue to enjoy my life to the fullest.
  • I hope that I learn from my mistakes more often than not and grow as a person. 
  • And, most importantly, I hope to be here and healthy so I can be the best mom, partner, teacher, advocate and friend that I can be.

Philosopher WB Pitkin claims, “Life begins at forty.” I'm counting on it!

As always, thanks for following my journey. When I think of my many blessings, the people that I have met online and offline through this blog are among them. xoxo

Thoughts on Steubenville

Back when I practiced in immigration legal services, I worked on a lot on cases for immigrant women and children who were victims of crimes here in the United States. Several of the rape and domestic violence cases were so gruesome that I would read the files with tears streaming down my eyes.

Since last year, I've followed the Steubenville rape case incredulously. It's difficult for me to fathom the criminal actions by the two football players, and the despicable reactions by many fellow students, members of the community and the media. When my former student, Joan Ronstadt, informed me that she had written an Op-Ed piece about what happened in Steubenville and the media's response, I offered to post it here.

Don’t Be a Barbarian and Document It vs. Don’t Be a Barbarian (Period!)

By: Joan Ronstadt

The situation with the now infamous “Ohio rape case” is so ridiculous that it merits a satirical bit on Saturday Night Live. Preferably the Weekend Update sketch, “ARE YOU SERIOUS? with Seth Meyers.” Frankly as I became increasingly aware of the trial and events, that was all I could find myself saying. Yelling at television anchors through a little black box full of wires. Apart from the obvious issues of the case (i.e. raping an unconscious girl), this case has surfaced some more structural issues as well.

Just as a quick recap, these are the facts of the case: Two football players, who are minors, raped a girl, who is also a minor. The fact that they are all minors makes the case messier and adds to the overwhelming feeling of “ughck.” Not only did the two boys rape her, they then proceeded to post their coital conquest on the Internet. You know the Internet, where nothing goes away no matter how hard you scrub?

Something I found interesting was one of the perpetrator’s “apologies” in court. “No pictures should have been sent around, let alone ever taken,” he said. This may be one of the most disturbing instances of the case, barring the actual event. No pictures should have been shared? How chivalrous of you to also add that pictures shouldn’t have been taken in the first place! Why didn’t I think of that?!  His statement is problematic in it of itself, but also what it represents as a moral and of our culture as a whole.

 I can’t even begin to fathom what it is like to be a victim of such a crime and I hope to never be able to. Yet, I think it is more than safe to presume that when your attacker apologizes, you want them to be sorry for the atrocity they did to you. Not to be sorry that they documented it, bragged and ultimately got caught. This poor young girl is going to have to struggle with this cloud over her head for the rest of her life. The least she deserves is an “I’m-sorry-for-traumatizing-you.”

It also worries me what people think the moral of this story is. If you are not critically watching this case, rather just impressionistically, it isn’t hard to deduce that the lesson here is: If you’re going to act like a barbarian, make sure you don’t put it on social media. When really the lesson should be more along the lines of: Don’t act like a barbarian; were you raised by wolves?

Which leads to the larger structural problem. Our culture is one where rape is “officially” condemned but it comes with a wink, wink and a nudge. It seems our society is always making up excuses and beating around the bush. Her skirt was short, she’s my girlfriend, she was drunk, etc. It’s a problem when this kid has been put through a legal ringer while his partner in crime is sobbing next to him, and all he’s sorry for is that he’s a bit of an over-sharer on social media. He’s not sorry for what he did to another human being, he’s sorry he was reckless about bragging. If this kid was raised by/around/with seemingly well meaning people, how is it that this is what he is coming out with? One option is that he’s just a kid with an exceptionally poor moral compass. Which is possible. Another option is that he was raised in a culture where he felt he was above the law. Where he had been sheltered by his privilege and was so warped in his reality that he thought what he was doing was an acceptable act. If it is the second option, then it is time our culture evaluate the moral of the story a little closer.

Have you followed the case? What are your thoughts? 

Defying the Odds

“Oh My God! Your belly is so big!”

Lately, I've heard that comment from several friends. I typically respond with silence and an eye roll. Do people think that they have to say something about my belly and my weight because I’m pregnant? (It’s the cancer equivalent of telling a patient, “You look great!” when that’s far from the case.)

Unsolicited thoughts about a woman’s weight — whether or not she's pregnant — are unnecessary at a minimum and cruel at a maximum. Health, not size or build, is what we should hold in high regard!

When I found out I was able to try to carry to term, I assumed that I gain a lot of weight while pregnant. (My metabolism is still messed up from the steroids that I was given during chemotherapy.) Nonetheless, I reasoned that if I made it through the pregnancy and my baby was healthy, then some extra pounds weren't anything to worry about.

My health and the fetus' health continue to be my priorities, but I surprisingly find myself on the low end of the pregnancy weight gain spectrum. I’m 7 ½ months pregnant, and I’ve only gained 14 pounds. (The average woman gains between 25 and 35 pounds during nine months.)

In four weeks between February and March, I only gained two pounds. Thankfully, Baby Girl weighed in slightly bigger than average at 2.5 pounds. My OBs weren't very concerned about my weight since her fetal weight was healthy, although I was advised to try to eat more.  

Over the past ten days, the doctors' concerns have unfortunately increased. The reason? Several of my chronic health issues (migraines, nausea and vomiting) have resurfaced. The migraines and vomiting were so bad for almost four days that I became dehydrated. Last Monday, my doctor recommended that I go to the ER for IVs. Being in the hospital for these symptoms wasn’t new for me, but I kept worrying about Baby Girl. Would she have enough nutrients to gain enough weight for her healthy development?

Surprisingly, no one in the ER checked on the fetus. The doctor didn’t listen for a heartbeat or order an ultrasound. But, I did receive the fluids and medications that I needed for proper hydration and for the migraine to break. I still found myself stressed about Baby Girl's health, though. I took comfort in the fact that I happened to have a sonogram already on the books.

Two days later, I headed off to my ultrasound. After the radiology technician had taken all of her measurements, he asked me how much I thought she weighed.

“I don’t want to guess. I’m just praying that she’s at least three pounds,” I said I as I exhaled. (Three pounds would be on the low end of the range, but not low enough to warrant concern.)

He paused before exclaiming, “She is!”

“Really?!?” I asked, as I smiled and exhaled.

“She’s four pounds, one ounce,” he informs me.

“You’re kidding me!!!” I yelp as tears begin to fill my eyes. "FOUR pounds?!?"

Despite how little I have been keeping down, Baby Girl is in the 73rd percentile for fetal weight. 

Keep growing as you have been, Baby Girl, and keep defying the odds!

The Lelo Lily

A friend recently shared with me that she had purchased her first vibrator after reading one of my posts.

“That’s great! Which toy did you choose?” I asked.

“The Lelo Ina 2.”

“What do you think of it?”

“I like it,” she replied and then paused.

I sensed her hesitancy at saying too much more and commented, “The Ina 2 is an amazing toy, but it's so powerful that it might overwhelm a toy newbie.”

My friend just nodded in response. I recommended that her next purchase be a product that’s smaller in size and geared for external (clitoral) pleasure only. Some women can handle a bigger toy or dual stimulation right out of the gate. But, for other first-time toy users, stronger vibrations and a larger product are too much for them.

For those new to adult toys, I advise building up gradually in size, intensity and features. That way, you can take your time to figure out which sensations and options you like best. View exploring toys and finding your favorites as a marathon and not a sprint. There’s no need to break out the big guns until you feel ready to!

The Lelo Siri is an exceptional toy since it’s small in size with vibrations gentle enough for a first-time toy user or woman recouping from an illness or surgery. For those who are comfortable with vibrators, the petite Siri boasts more intense levels of clitoral stimulation.

Another great pick is the Lelo Lily! The Lily wins in many regards:

  • It fits in the palm of your hand, and yet, it packs a powerful punch with five increasing modes of vibrations!
  • Its simplistic and aesthetically pleasing design ensures that the product is discreet and easily portable. The owner of an adult boutique informed me that the Lily is the most popular pick for DC-area attorneys because it can fit in their briefcase and make a long day at work much easier to bear!
  • The toy is rechargeable with seven hours of fun for a two-hour charge.
  • As with all Lelo products, the Lily is made of 100% body-safe materials.

The Lily is a top choice for a variety of pleasure seekers:

  • Females looking for their first toy for clitoral stimulation. This is a wonderful starter toy for external use only. (Don't put the Lily inside your anus or vagina.)
  • Females in the market for a discreet, quiet product with intense vibrations. Lelo describes the Lily as “deceptive powerful,” and I heartily concur! (As a disclaimer for regular toy users who are wedded to their wands, you might need some time away from the wand to harness the full potential of the Lily.)
  • Couples interested in bringing in a small toy into the bedroom for added excitement. This product is strong enough for a woman without intimidating a man.
  • Females recouping from injury, illness, childbirth or medical treatment. Please check with your doctor before engaging in any form of sexual activity (from manual stimulation to use of toys to sex).
  • Females who have had a change in their hormone levels or sex drive from menopause or another health-related condition and have been experiencing difficulty in reaching orgasm.

The Lily is sure to please many a woman and couple! 

Lelo, you’ve impressed me with another toy! The Lily gets my full five squeals of approval!

Thar She Blows!

Many women complain about the side effects that they experience during pregnancy. For the majority of women who haven’t had to deal with major health issues before pregnancy, these side effects can be disconcerting at a minimum and debilitating at a maximum.

That thankfully hasn’t been my experience with pregnancy, though. I’m used to dealing with health issues on a daily basis so the changes haven’t fazed me. And, I have (knocking on wood) had a very good pregnancy. As the doctors expected, I’m healthier pregnant than not. What health issues I have to deal with in a given week are lighter versions of what I experienced pre-pregnancy and pre-cancer.

Well, all except for one side effect…

And, it’s an embarrassing problem to admit.

I’ve turned into a snorer!

When I was told that I had been snoring, I was incredulous! I’ve never snored for more than a few minutes on a rare occasion throughout my life! (I didn't even snore when I had mild sleep apnea in the early 2000s!) I half jokingly asked for proof that I snore.

"I want to hear it for myself!"

Next time, I'll be careful what I wish for! The evidence – in the form of a short audio recording – was compiled. The recording was played for me. At first, the snoring was mild, but then it became loud. Really loud! Think of snoring full of vibrato!

I immediately started blushing and shaking my head in disbelief. I was really snoring, although I fervently wished it wasn't me!

The following day, I went online and learned that snoring during pregnancy is common. According to,

  • 25% of women experience frequent snoring during pregnancy; and
  • Snoring occurs more often during the third trimester.

Why is that? Well, during pregnancy, there’s an increase of blood and estrogen in a woman’s body. Both can cause swelling in the mucus and nasal membranes. (That might explain why I’ve been congested since December!)

I don't snore every time I sleep, but it does occur at least once every few nights. I haven’t tried to elevate my head when I sleep to alleviate the problem so I’ll give that a shot.

I’m hoping that the snoring abates after I give birth. I’m also hoping that recording magically disappears!

How She’s Doing in There?

At my bi-monthly sonograms, I continue to smile and laugh out loud at what Little Bit does. She clearly does not wish to be disturbed in there and will do her best to evade the ultrasound wand. During recent appointments, she again tried to swat the wand away. When the technician didn't move the wand, she put both hands up in front of her face in "Put Up Your Dukes" fashion.

Using 4D ultrasound technology, the technician has tried to obtain a clear look at the front of her face on numerous occasions. She hasn't cooperated, though, only showing us 2/3 of her face.

When no one is bothering Little Bit, she’s actually very calm. She flutters at times, which feels like popcorn is lightly popping in my stomach. She's already 15" and three pounds so she does shift positions from time-to-time. I've felt her hiccups and gas bubbles, but I generally don't notice much activity.

In almost 30 weeks, I've only felt her truly kick a total of three times. Friends who are moms describe feeling their babies-to-be kick as the best feeling in the world. I just find it odd and jarring. When I initially felt her kick, I was teaching a class on Feminism as part of my 50 Shades Trilogy course. I let out an, “Ohhhh!” because the sensation caught me off guard. (And, yes, I have to chuckle that the first time I feel a hard kick from her is when I’m talking about feminism. She really is my daughter!)

Thankfully, my pregnancy has been uneventful…with one exception…

On the last day of our vacation, my neurological issues were in full effect. I awoke throwing up and couldn’t stop for several hours. I was so dehydrated that I started having false contractions, also known as Braxton-Hicks contractions. As the day progressed, the contractions lessened, but the experience still concerned me. I feared that something was wrong and that I would end up having to deliver in an island hospital. (Granted, the island had a very well-respected neonatal department, but at the time, I didn’t find that comforting.)

As I boarded the plane back to DC that evening, I said a prayer that I would be home soon and she would be okay. I happened to have a sonogram already scheduled for the following day so I learned that all was indeed well. I hope not to get dehydrated again in the future, but if that happens, I know what Braxton-Hicks contractions feel like.

There's typically not a correlation between a fetus' activity inside the womb and how a child is outside of the womb. Nonetheless, I still find myself wondering, if she'll be stubborn like she is during the sonograms or calm like she is the rest of the time. If she's healthy when she arrives on May 31st, though, that's all that matters!