Giveaway – Hands on Sexy Feet

It's time for a Friday Giveaway, and this is a great one!

Are you familiar with reflexology?

Reflexology is an ancient healing art of stimulating the feet that reduces stress and improves your physical well-being. Experts estimate that 80-90% of disease is stress related, and massage combats this stress by helping us relax. In each foot there are over 7,000 nerve endings – called reflexes – which correspond to every organ and system within your body. Simply pressing on those reflex points can elicit a response from the nervous system that helps to soothe and balance the entire body.

I've been a fan of reflexology since high school, when my mom began receiving treatments at a holistic health center. We had a book about reflexology at home and began giving our own foot massages with the goal of stimulating the correct pressure points.

I wish that wellness expert Michelle Ebbin's books had been available back then, but we're lucky that we can rely on her expertise now!

“My goal is to teach people about the benefits of massage therapy and how to incorporate it into your lifestyle for optimal health, enhanced relationships and overall well-being.” ~ Michelle Ebbin

Michelle is passionate about the healing benefits of touch. She founded Basic Knead in 1994 with the goal of creating unique massage products that everyone can use to bring the healing power of touch into their daily life. A graduate of Columbia University and the Institute of Psycho-Structural Balancing (I.P.S.B.) in Los Angeles, Michelle has authored best-selling books and created award-winning DVDs and massage products.

A few highlights from Michelle Ebbin's illustrious career include:

• #1 best-selling author on books about Reflexology & Baby Massage including:

– Hands on Sexy Feet
– Hands on Feet
– Hands on Baby Massage
– The Little Book of Reflexology

• Featured expert & host in the #1 massage DVD series in the World (Gaiam/Living Arts)

• Featured massage expert for iamplify.com

• Featured on Live with Regis and Kelly and The View and in Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire

• Partner in the development of a new touch therapy program for cancer patients with City of Hope, one of the leading NCI-designated Comprehensive Cancer Centers in the world

• Spokesperson for The Naturalizer brand shoe company’s N5 Comfort Shoe and their Wellness from the Ground Up campaign

Follow Michelle on Twitter and Facebook to find out more about her.

Michelle has generously offered to give one lucky reader a copy of her best-selling book about reflexology, Hands on Sexy Feet, with the Sexy Love Sox!
 

What's the book about?

The book is the follow-up to the bestselling Hands on Feet. This new book-plus package from Michelle K. Ebbin teaches you how to use reflexology to stimulate the body’s erogenous zones to improve sexual intimacy and performance, in addition to overall health and well-being. With the included pair of unisex, one-size-fits-all Sexy Love Sox™, descriptive graphics on the sole of each sock show exactly where to press to relax your partner and turn him or her on. The user-friendly book includes simple techniques and helpful information about reflexology, how it works, and how it can be used to boost your libido and naturally improve your sex life.

With the unique map of the body on the bottom of each sock, easy-to-follow instructions, and line illustrations throughout, Hands on Sexy Feet makes the benefits of sensual reflexology accessible to everyone—and a lot of fun to use.

Want to win a copy of Michelle Ebbin's book and the Love Sox? One winner will be chosen randomly on Friday, March 2, 2012 at noon EST. To enter, you must be a US resident and comment below with the words, "Hands on Sexy Feet!"  Good luck! xoxo

* Pursuant to FTC Guidelines, no compensation was received in exchange for this post or giveaway.

From Can’t to Can

I’m 5’9 ½. Over the years, my weight has varied from 123 pounds after college to 167 in 2004 after three years of steroids. By 2007, though, the steroids were out of my system.

From 2007 to 2010, my weight was stable. I weighed between 133 and 135 pounds. I ate when I was hungry, and I ate what I wanted. I didn’t think much about my body, weight or fitness regime.

Cancer totally shook my body and my body image up, though. I never expected to gain weight during chemotherapy, let alone 23 pounds in four months. My oncologist prescribed a lot of medications to alleviate the vomiting that I experienced in the first round. In so doing, he threw my digestion for a loop. With the disclaimer that everybody poops, I typically eliminated once every 10 days during the four months of chemotherapy. (I cringe when I think about how many drugs were stuck in my body during that time.)

Upon completing chemotherapy in January 2011, I lost 13 pounds by April. My scale seemed stuck after that, though. However, in the past month, I’ve moved from 10 pounds to seven pounds over my pre-cancer weight. To some, that might not seem like a big deal (slight pun intended). But, as a young, female cancer survivor, there are larger issues of body image and sexuality here. There’s also the reality that many of us face:

We’re done with treatment, but we don’t look in the mirror and recognize ourselves.
Our bodies have changed.
Our hair has changed.
For some of us, our breasts have changed.
And, our lives have changed.

It’s been an effort to look at myself in the mirror without detesting what I see. (And, yes, I used the word, “detest,” purposely.) I recently realized, though, that I couldn’t encourage my students and readers to love their bodies if I didn’t start doing the same. So, I’ve moved from a place of detesting to a place of tolerating.

I also started thinking about what I could do to change my routine. There’s a part of me that would love to lose those last seven pounds. More importantly, though, I need to do whatever I can to strengthen my body before my mastectomies on April 25th. The surgeons will be removing tissue and muscle from my back and my chest (all the way to my shoulders), and I already have weak muscle tone in those areas.

I have a lot of restrictions with respect to exercise:

  • I can’t do yoga because increasing flexibility isn’t a good thing for one of my conditions.
  • I can’t lift more than the lightest weights because of my limited muscle strength.
  • If I do more than 15 or 20 minutes of exercise, I end up exacerbating my fever disease.
  • I can't do exercises in which my head is below my heart. (My pressure is already low as it is.)
  • I can’t build up my endurance and stamina so that regular exercise will allow me to do more in a month or two. More than 15 or 20 minutes of exercise a day will increase my fevers, dizziness and muscle fatigue.

For the past five years, my doctors have allowed me to do 10-15 minutes of physical therapy with a resista-band at home and walk as much as I can. I love walking, and it’s the one thing that I can (almost) always do. And so, I’ve walked and walked. I try to walk at least two miles a day, and that hasn't impacted my health negatively. But, walking hasn’t changed my weight or my muscle tone either.

With Fashion for Paws and double mastectomies in April, I’ve been asking myself to focus less on what I can’t do and more on what I can do.

  • I can do five to seven minutes on an elliptical (at the lowest level). That small amount will help me build some muscle tone in my upper body.
  • I can do 15-20 minutes of a barre class, water aerobics or a recumbent bicycle.
  • Weight machines, even on the lowest resistance, offer me more than my resista-band or two-pound weights at home.
  • I can start physical therapy next month to allow me one month of preparation in advance of my surgeries.

I joined a gym last week. For some, that’s not newsworthy, but for me, it is. I’ve wrapped my head around the fact even 10 or 15 minutes of exercise can help. I’m also accepted that the membership fees are money well spent to make a commitment toward my overall physical health.

I’m working past what I can’t do and working toward what I can. I can’t do more than that, right?

What obstacles are you facing right now? What small changes can you make in your life to alleviate those problems? How can you replace a “can’t” with a “can?”

Dreams about the Same Sex

It’s Formspring time!

Question: I am a single woman in her 30s. I date men and enjoy all kinds of sexual activity with them. Recently, in my dry spell, I’ve been having very graphic sexual dreams involving other women. I’m concerned that my psyche is trying to tell me something. Help!

Answer: Thanks for your question. Dreams can have different meanings for different people, but it’s worth remembering that sexual dreams are completely normal. Many psychologists believe that dreams about kisses or sex with a member of the same sex represent compassion, self-acceptance and self-love. Those are great qualities to possess!

You mentioned that you’ve been in a dry spell lately so it’s also possible that your subconscious is doing its part of remedying that for you. If you're also having dreams about certain close female friends in your life, your dreams might just be a reflection of your strong connection to them.

It’s difficult to infer intonation or intent in a few sentences that were written by a person I don’t know in real life. I’m not sure if your use of the phrases, “enjoy all kinds of sexual activity” and “concerned that my psyche is trying to tell me something,” merely provide background and reflect your confusion about your dreams. I don't want to ignore the other possibility, though. Have you’ve found yourself wondering if you might be interested in exploring a relationship with a woman?

Having a dream about a woman doesn’t mean that you want to have sex with a woman, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t. There’s no wrong option here, as long as it feels right to you. If you might be interested in exploring a sexual relationship with a member of the same sex, I hope you feel comfortable doing so. If that’s not of interest to you, I imagine that your vivid dreams will subside when a new partner enters the picture.

Hope that’s helpful. Good luck! xoxo

Did I miss anything, readers?

Giveaway – Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Want to win a copy of Victoria Levine's new book, "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing?"

This book will take you on a journey into the truth about deception, guiding you to an awareness that helps you cut through and understand the patterns of manipulation in dating and in life. Men and women of all ages will benefit by reading this book. It explains and points out how people without integrity, who have hidden agendas, will go to any extreme to achieve their desired result. 

About the Author:

Victoria Levine is an author, poet, artist and mother of three. Victoria has been an inspirational speaker throughout her life in all that she has done and experienced within mothering, teaching, business and as a giver of guidance to others in all aspects of life. Victoria Levine’s artwork and blog can be seen at http://www.vlevine.com/.

Reviews:

As a country music singer, I am utilizing Victoria Levine’s expertise in every day life of the entertainment world. Reading about the different player types has helped me to see the manipulation of the different personalites of business opportunists who use the entertainment arena as their playfield. ~ Becca Hennesy, age 35

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing showed me how to see the way boys would try to manipulate me.  ~ Darian Levine, age 15

This book has helped me to see what I do not want and now I am able to focus on what I do want and bring it to fruition. ~ Carolyn Cricca, age 48

Giveaway Rules:

One lucky reader will win a copy of Wolf in Sheep's Clothing in hard copy or e-book. Hard copies can only be shipped to residents in the United States. Comment to enter for a chance to win the book with your answer to the following question:

Which ex-boyfriend was the biggest wolf in sheep's clothing in City Girl's past and why?

Answers are subjective, and I've dated several wolves so all entries with a valid name and reason will be accepted. The winner will be chosen randomly on Saturday, February 18th at noon EST. Good luck!

* Pursuant to FTC Guidelines, no compensation was received in exchange for this post or giveaway.

April 25th

I’m cancer-free.

And, I’m so thankful for that.

But, that’s not the end of the story for me.

I haven’t wanted to celebrate because I knew what was likely on the horizon. I haven’t been able to fully exhale since I knew that mastectomies and reconstruction were looming. They’re like this large, nebulous cloud overhead (or maybe two large, nebulous clouds).

My mastectomies are scheduled for April 25th. This is real. This is happening.

I had planned to schedule the mastectomies for the summer, but I shifted around my schedule to allow the surgery to happen sooner. I'm much calmer since I no longer need to wait five months.

It’s an interesting part of the journey to observe people’s confusion and reactions at the fact that being cancer-free doesn’t mean being done with cancer. Kind and well-intentioned friends and acquaintances want me to be healthy; they want my life back to normal. I get that, and I want that, too. But, that doesn’t mean that it’s a simple road from here to there.

On the chance that you’re wondering why I’m getting mastectomies now, here are the reasons:

1. I’m 38 years old, and I’ve had 13 breast biopsies and four lumpectomies. My breasts are fibrocystic and dense with a lot of calcifications. That’s why I’ve had so many biopsies, and it’s expected that I’d continue to have biopsies every year if I did not have the surgeries;

2. I was unable to tolerate hormonal therapies, which have been shown to significantly reduce a woman’s risk of recurrence. (When my doctors recommended lumpectomies in 2010, they assumed that I would be able to tolerate this class of medications);

3. I was diagnosed at 37, which means that I have a higher rate of recurrence than older women;

4. Because of my health history, I’m ineligible to participate in any studies for new breast cancer drugs or vaccines; and

5. The thought is that my mom and I have a breast cancer gene that has yet to be discovered.

A few hours after I scheduled the surgeries, a friend sent me the following quote by Vaclav Havel:

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.

I don’t believe that my breasts are killing me, and I could have the surgery and still get breast cancer again. But, I have a significantly higher chance of getting breast cancer again if I don’t get mastectomies. To me, this game of life is a numbers game. I’m playing my hand according to the probabilities.

Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?

Let’s tackle a reader’s question from Formspring!

Question: I have a best friend, Jenn, that’s been dating her boyfriend, Joe, for about six years. He’s in jail. It’s been one year, and Jenn has been waiting for him. She moved in with Joe’s parents. She told me a month ago that she slept with another guy. Jenn asked me what should she do — help!

Answer: Thanks for your question. This is definitely a tricky situation. I’m typically of the mindset that honesty is the best policy, even if negative repercussions ensue as a result of being honest. I’m also a huge advocate of open communication since that’s a key component to a healthy relationship.

I find myself wondering, though, if there’s a prison exception to these ideals. Joe is in jail, and that experience will have an enormous impact on his sexuality, his self-esteem and his relationship with Jenn. You didn’t mention how long Joe will be in prison so there’s also the issue of the growing emotional and physical distance between them

It sounds like Jenn needs a listening ear and support at this time. When Joe is released from prison, Jenn and Joe can figure out what the future holds for them and their relationship. I’m not one to advise lying by omission, but it might make sense for Jenn to wait and see what happens before adding further stress to an already difficult situation.

There’s a separate issue here relating to how friends interact with each other. If you feel strongly about whether or not Jenn should tell Joe what happened or stay with him in the long run, you need to broach those topics delicately. Let her know that you love her, appreciate what a tough situation this is, and will support her no matter what decision she makes. If you believe she should tell Joe or not wait for him to get out of prison, don’t phrase those things directly or bluntly. Express your concerns to her and indicate why you’re worried. Remind her that you’re telling her this as an over-protective friend, but that you will continue to stand by her as you always have.

The reason that I’m emphasizing what you say and how you say it is because friendships can be irreparably damaged when people are too direct with their thoughts about partners, parents or children. It's also rare that tough love between friends will change someone's actions. Jenn needs to make her own decisions and mistakes, as she takes comfort in knowing that friends like you will have her back.

Good luck to Jenn, Joe and you! Please keep me posted.

So, readers, did I miss anything? What boundaries do you set in terms of what advice you give your friends?
 

Safety First Giveaway with Lucky Bloke

Sex is exciting.

Walking into a store, and purchasing condoms, not so much.

And, running out of condoms isn’t just awkward – it can have some very unwelcome consequences.

There is simply no reason to be without condoms when you need them. That's where Lucky Bloke, the ultimate condom subscription service, comes in.

Discreet and affordable international delivery of top-selling condoms and lubricant.

We have carefully selected the top condoms in the world – including, Kimono, Glyde, Billy Boy, RFSU, Durex, and Trojan condoms. You can create your own personalized collection for monthly delivery.

Change it as often a you’d like. (That definitely will allow for exploring new products in absolute privacy, or sticking with tried and true favorites! Whatever you desire…)

A subscription to LuckyBloke.com offers discreet and reliable delivery of top-selling condoms at affordable prices. Sent via mail, your fresh, new condoms arrive – no matter where your global travels might take you.

    

A monthly subscription varies from 6-24 condoms depending on a person's activity. Each person creates his or her own subscription, based on taste and needs. Basically, the only "rule" is that condoms are sold in sets of six (or six packs) meaning that you choose in sets of six condoms of the same brand and style. (If you want 18 condoms, but of only one brand – you choose 3 – 6 packs.)

Your monthly subscription to LuckyBloke.com is something you can count on. You can place it on hold or cancel any time.

Your condoms are always available to you when need them.

Your custom selection is delivered in a confidential unmarked package to any valid address of your choosing. (Office, dorm, your lover's place? You name it).

Our favorite part?

10% of our sales are given to urgent humanitarian causes. And, you are able to choose the cause you would like your subscription to support! Currently choices include: charity: water, UNICEF, and It Gets Better Project.

You choose the adventure, we provide the gear – and together, we do our part to save the world.

Lucky Bloke is willing to give THREE readers a one-month subscription. Each winner can go on the site and choose whatever monthly package of condoms fits his or her needs and activity level. (Condoms are provided in packages of six and a monthly subscription ranges from six to 24 condoms.)

How will this giveaway work?

1. One winner will be chosen on each of the following days: Tuesday, January 31st, Wednesday, February 1st and Thursday, February 2nd.

2. Since the theme is "Safety First," the person who comments first with "Lucky Bloke," on each of those days starting at 2pm Eastern Standard Time (11am Pacific Standard Time) wins. If you win for one of those days, you may not enter again.

3. Lucky Bloke will contact each winner to collect on the subscriptions. The winners will not be automatically signed up for the service.

4. Lucky Bloke ships worldwide so wherever you live, you're eligible to enter!

5. There's a chance that Lucky Bloke might give an additional fourth subscription to the person with the best comment. So, if you can't make it to your computer or smart phone at 2pm EST, it's still worth commenting. Just make sure to include why you'd love to receive a month's subscription.

Giveaway starts on Tuesday, January 31st at 2pm EST so get your comments ready!

* Pursuant to FTC Guidelines, no compensation was received by City Girl Blogs for this post or to conduct this giveaway.

Book Giveaway – What Every Woman Wishes

It's Friday! Time for a giveaway!

Valentine's Day will be here in less than a month. If ever there were a time for men to learn more about what women want, this is it! Make Valentine's Day a day neither of you will ever forget with this reveal of what women actually want – yes, even the secrets women usually won't give up.

Synopsis

#1: We don't want to hold his underwear.

Inspired by her years of experience as a straightforward woman with predominantly male friends, Sylvia D. Lucas' What Every Woman Wishes Modern Men Knew About Women – whose message at its core is "We actually very much love men" – is a girl talking to a guy from her bar stool to his. No trickery, no cunning, no game playing – this is the dirt on women men wish they'd known for years (or that they'd always suspected was true – and now it's confirmed!).

Here's what men think they know:

They know the experts say men should do domestic things to turn a woman on. But why? Why do women like it? It's not for the break they get from doing it themselves.

Women like roses…(Wait. Or do they?)

Women like jewelry, ANY jewelry, as long as it sparkles. And as long as it's from him, she'll love it. (Wrong. So wrong.)

Women sometimes issue marriage ultimatums, and men would be wise to respect them. 1. What's behind that ultimatum, and is it really an ultimatum? 2. It's fine for a man to respect it (once he knows what it is), but caving to it? Stop!

Sometimes men wonder why they have no idea what a woman is thinking, why she acts like she's not interested but keeps saying "yes" when he asks her out. What the hell?

Humorous, conversational, and brutally frank, What Every Woman Wishes Modern Men Knew About Women addresses all of the above (and more) from a refreshingly honest and modern perspective.

Said one married (female) beta reader who is incredibly private and would rather remain anonymous, "This book seems like it's MORE than just 'what every man should know about women'….it's more about the modern-day woman, the independent, 'we don't need you for things, we need you for companionship and we want you to understand we are just like you' woman. It started some good conversations between me and my husband because he sometimes has a hard time figuring out what type I am. This helped me to explain to him what I want, need, or expect as a woman."

Reviews

"It is my opinion that this is perhaps one of the best books on this particular topic I have read. And I have read my fair share of relationship books. But unlike previous books I’ve read, which I found to be rather limiting in their messages, I found What Every Woman Wishes… to be more down to earth and realistic in its presentation. Sylvia D. Lucas is witty, clever, intelligent and logical as she makes many good points on topics ranging from marriage to myths surrounding gifts. This is a book I would highly recommend to all men – married, dating and single. It is that good (and important of a topic). I give it 5 out of 5 stars. Also, as a [recovering] germaphobe, the underwear story really freaked me out." – Joe Glasgow

"I read it in one sitting, straight through. Loved it! Talked my boyfriend's ear off about it for half a day so that he just smiled and nodded after a while. After reading WEWWMDNAW, I felt like I had just hung out with a girlfriend and shared our views on relationships between men and women. Quick, light read that delivers a valuable message." – Amazon.com review (4/5 stars)

About the Author

Sylvia D. Lucas is a former journalist and an award-winning writer with a passion for stomping stereotypes, promoting empathy, and wading through the BS to get to the truth.

Giveaway Rules

One lucky winner will receive a hard copy or e-version of What Every Woman Wishes Modern Men Knew About Women. Hard copies cannot be shipped outside of the US. The giveaway will run until noon EST on Friday, February 3, 2012. To enter, just comment with what you wish the modern man knew, what you're glad your modern man knows, or what you as a modern man know or want to know.

Good luck!

* Pursuant to FTC Guidelines, this post was provided by the author without compensation to City Girl Blogs in exchange for the issuance of one book to a winner chosen randomly.
 

Sexual Genogram

For my Sexuality and Social Media class, I assigned a Sexual Genogram.

"What's a Sexual Genogram?" you might be wondering.

Sex Therapy in Philadelphia writes, "[t]he experiences we have had in our lives inevitably shape us into the person that we become. We all go through experiences that help to develop our personality, temperament, and other important characteristics that make us unique. Additionally, our experiences can create our patterns of behavior—both good and bad."

Those defining experiences impact our sexual development and behavior. I first heard about the Sexual Genogram assignment from Dr. Janell Carroll, a professor and author of the college textbook, Sexuality Now. Janell is a wonderful friend, educator and mentor and allowed me to modify her assignment.

The assignment for my class is as follows:

Think about your sexual history. Connect your early life experiences with your current understanding of yourself and sexuality in general. How does it, or does it not, impact you today?

Throughout the paper, ask yourself, “How did my cultural, religious, socioeconomic, ethnic, and family affect my own development? How do these experiences impact my current attitudes about my sexuality? What role, if any, did social media play in influencing my development and sexuality?”

Assigning this short paper has me thinking about what influenced my sexual development. When did I learn about sex? What was I attracted to? When were my first experiences with exploring, masturbation, orgasms and sex? What roles did my background and my family play in my development? How would my sexuality be different if I had grown up in the social media age?

I think this is a valuable assignment and not just for my students. I’m going to write my Sexual Genogram in the next few weeks, and I’m encouraging interested readers to do the same. If you’d like to post yours, but don’t feel comfortable doing so on your blog or don’t have your own site, I’m happy to post your Genogram here. No names or links required. xoxo