As we drove up to the baby store, The Man noticed the parking spots for expectant mothers at the front of the lot and went to pull into one.

“No way!” I exclaimed with a chuckle. “I’m pregnant. I’m not an invalid. I’m cancer free. I’m not using one of those spaces.”

I’ve used similar lines to reason with loved ones about the fact that I can walk a few miles a day, lift boxes and drive wherever I need to. Despite my health concerns and the fact that my pregnancy is high risk, I’ve been fortunate (knock on wood) to have had an easy pregnancy.

The issue of parking spaces for expectant mothers has been on my mind of late, though. In a trip to a shopping mall on a busy Saturday night, my friend assumed that I would take one of the preferred parking spaces. I didn’t feel right doing so.

My thoughts inspired the following Facebook status update:

I shake my head and keep driving every time I see preferred parking spaces for expectant moms. Barring extreme complications, pregnancy is not a disability. Let's give preferred parking spots to people with health conditions that aren't a choice!

The online discussion that ensued was an interesting one. To highlight the major points:

• If pregnant women need or want the spots, then why should anyone question their existence? 

• I qualified for temporary disability due to a pregnancy-related condition, but didn't feel comfortable asking for a disability placard. I was thankful for those spots so I didn't have to use a handicapped space.

• I’m pregnant, and I would never take advantage of these spots. 

• I wish these spots existed when I was pregnant! 

• Everyone’s situation is different so we shouldn’t judge. 

• People will always take advantage of these types of things – pregnant or not. 

• Wouldn’t it make more sense to have parking spaces for new moms? 

Offline comments included that these spaces are merely a marketing tool and how resentful several friends feel about these spots existing.

The discussion also prompted me to think about why these spots bother me. The answer is two-fold:

1. As someone who had cancer, I would have loved preferred parking spots for me back then! (Last month, I was in the ER twice, threw up almost daily and had bronchitis. That month was a walk in the park compared to how I felt post-chemotherapy!)

I wish there were preferred spaces for people who are having a really rough health day for whatever reason. I realize, though, that some people who aren't ill or limited in their mobility would unfortunately take advantage of these spots!

2. As a feminist and attorney, I worry that special treatment for all expectant mothers might have negative repercussions. Discrimination against women in the workplace is often insidious. Working females of a certain age are still placed on the “Mommy Track,” regardless of whether they have or desire to have children. There are laws in place to protect against pregnancy discrimination, and women who are experiencing difficult pregnancies are entitled to temporary disability protection. But, if there’s the perception that all pregnant women – not just women with pregnancy-related medical conditions – require special treatment like preferred parking, could that be a detriment to working women?

I don’t know the answer to that question. In the meantime, though, I’m going to keep driving around the parking garage in search of a spot, feeling thankful that I don't need the preferred parking and questioning whether these spaces are beneficial on a macro level.

What are your thoughts on preferred parking spaces for expectant moms?

During my last sonogram two weeks ago, Baby Girl weighed in at four pounds and one ounce. The average fetal weight at 31 weeks is three pounds and five ounces. Given Dr. Real Deal’s concerns that her weight would be below average, this was wonderful news!

Although not problematic, my weight is far from ideal. In eight weeks, I’ve only gained two pounds. That’s not the norm at this stage of pregnancy. On the one hand, my doctors aren’t too concerned since Baby Girl is growing so well. On the other hand, they'd feel better if I gained some weight as a cushion.

My health over the past month resembles my pre-pregnancy and pre-cancer health. I get sick on an almost daily basis. On those days when I’m also hit with a migraine, I get dehydrated very quickly since I don’t have much in the reserves.

On Monday morning, I woke up dry heaving and didn’t have any luck keeping crackers or ginger ale down. I threw myself a pity party in the bathroom for a few minutes, as I tried to figure out how I would be able to get through these bad health days while caring for a newborn.  For some odd reason, I decided to pull up my Facebook feed in the midst of everything else and saw this image:

As has been a recurring theme in my life, I was reminded yet again that the opposite of fear is faith. My tears subsided, as did the pity party. The vomiting unfortunately continued.

Later that afternoon, I ended up in the ER for dehydration. I highly doubt I would have needed to go to the ER two times in two weeks if I had been able to take my very strong migraine medicine while pregnant. IV fluids, along with pain and anti-nausea medications, helped break this migraine cycle, but there's concern that a pattern is developing. I can resume my old migraine medicine after she arrives on May 31st, but my doctors and I hope that I'm not in and out of the ER until then.

While I was in the hospital, the ER doctor checked Baby Girl’s heartbeat, and thankfully all is well. Her strength continues to give me strength, and I’m constantly reminded of His strength. Any mother you talk to has to juggle many balls in the air at once. Once Baby Girl is here, I’ll have to do the same. I’m not exactly sure how it will work out, but I have faith that it will.

“Oh My God! Your belly is so big!”

Lately, I've heard that comment from several friends. I typically respond with silence and an eye roll. Do people think that they have to say something about my belly and my weight because I’m pregnant? (It’s the cancer equivalent of telling a patient, “You look great!” when that’s far from the case.)

Unsolicited thoughts about a woman’s weight — whether or not she's pregnant — are unnecessary at a minimum and cruel at a maximum. Health, not size or build, is what we should hold in high regard!

When I found out I was able to try to carry to term, I assumed that I gain a lot of weight while pregnant. (My metabolism is still messed up from the steroids that I was given during chemotherapy.) Nonetheless, I reasoned that if I made it through the pregnancy and my baby was healthy, then some extra pounds weren't anything to worry about.

My health and the fetus' health continue to be my priorities, but I surprisingly find myself on the low end of the pregnancy weight gain spectrum. I’m 7 ½ months pregnant, and I’ve only gained 14 pounds. (The average woman gains between 25 and 35 pounds during nine months.)

In four weeks between February and March, I only gained two pounds. Thankfully, Baby Girl weighed in slightly bigger than average at 2.5 pounds. My OBs weren't very concerned about my weight since her fetal weight was healthy, although I was advised to try to eat more.  

Over the past ten days, the doctors' concerns have unfortunately increased. The reason? Several of my chronic health issues (migraines, nausea and vomiting) have resurfaced. The migraines and vomiting were so bad for almost four days that I became dehydrated. Last Monday, my doctor recommended that I go to the ER for IVs. Being in the hospital for these symptoms wasn’t new for me, but I kept worrying about Baby Girl. Would she have enough nutrients to gain enough weight for her healthy development?

Surprisingly, no one in the ER checked on the fetus. The doctor didn’t listen for a heartbeat or order an ultrasound. But, I did receive the fluids and medications that I needed for proper hydration and for the migraine to break. I still found myself stressed about Baby Girl's health, though. I took comfort in the fact that I happened to have a sonogram already on the books.

Two days later, I headed off to my ultrasound. After the radiology technician had taken all of her measurements, he asked me how much I thought she weighed.

“I don’t want to guess. I’m just praying that she’s at least three pounds,” I said I as I exhaled. (Three pounds would be on the low end of the range, but not low enough to warrant concern.)

He paused before exclaiming, “She is!”

“Really?!?” I asked, as I smiled and exhaled.

“She’s four pounds, one ounce,” he informs me.

“You’re kidding me!!!” I yelp as tears begin to fill my eyes. "FOUR pounds?!?"

Despite how little I have been keeping down, Baby Girl is in the 73^rd percentile for fetal weight. 

Keep growing as you have been, Baby Girl, and keep defying the odds!

Many women complain about the side effects that they experience during pregnancy. For the majority of women who haven’t had to deal with major health issues before pregnancy, these side effects can be disconcerting at a minimum and debilitating at a maximum.

That thankfully hasn’t been my experience with pregnancy, though. I’m used to dealing with health issues on a daily basis so the changes haven’t fazed me. And, I have (knocking on wood) had a very good pregnancy. As the doctors expected, I’m healthier pregnant than not. What health issues I have to deal with in a given week are lighter versions of what I experienced pre-pregnancy and pre-cancer.

Well, all except for one side effect…

And, it’s an embarrassing problem to admit.

I’ve turned into a snorer!

When I was told that I had been snoring, I was incredulous! I’ve never snored for more than a few minutes on a rare occasion throughout my life! (I didn't even snore when I had mild sleep apnea in the early 2000s!) I half jokingly asked for proof that I snore.

"I want to hear it for myself!"

Next time, I'll be careful what I wish for! The evidence – in the form of a short audio recording – was compiled. The recording was played for me. At first, the snoring was mild, but then it became loud. Really loud! Think of snoring full of vibrato!

I immediately started blushing and shaking my head in disbelief. I was really snoring, although I fervently wished it wasn't me!

The following day, I went online and learned that snoring during pregnancy is common. According to BabyCenter.com,

• 25% of women experience frequent snoring during pregnancy; and
• Snoring occurs more often during the third trimester.

Why is that? Well, during pregnancy, there’s an increase of blood and estrogen in a woman’s body. Both can cause swelling in the mucus and nasal membranes. (That might explain why I’ve been congested since December!)

I don't snore every time I sleep, but it does occur at least once every few nights. I haven’t tried to elevate my head when I sleep to alleviate the problem so I’ll give that a shot.

I’m hoping that the snoring abates after I give birth. I’m also hoping that recording magically disappears!

Some women swear by maternity clothes, claiming that they’re so comfortable that they wish they could wear them long after they’re pregnant.

I do not ascribe to this view.

Pregnancy websites attempt to persuade women to start shopping for maternity clothes in their first trimester. By the second trimester, these sites claim that even if a woman doesn’t need to wear maternity clothes, she’ll probably feel better if she does. Talk about pressure to conform and spend even more money while you’re pregnant!

I just entered the third trimester, and I’ve worn maternity pants on four separate occasions. Total.

Why haven’t I wanted to wear maternity clothes? For the simple reason that I haven’t found them to be comfortable at all!

See, maternity pants have a layer of fabric that go over your belly. The extra material just makes your mid section look bigger and doesn't fall inconspicously under any tops. Why would I want to accentuate that area more? And, since I'm tall, if I wear maternity pants over my belly, they look like they're cropped above my ankles.

Maternity Leggings

On vacation two weeks ago, I wore maternity pants one day on the trip. That was the only day I received comments from people at the hotel about being pregnant. Let's do a photo recap to help prove my point.

My shirt falls naturally over my bump while I'm playing tourist.

Two days later, wearing the same top in a different color with maternity pants underneath. See how the top of the pants draws more attention to the belly? I also had discomfort in my low back after only a few hours since the material is confining. (I didn't do as much walking on this day either. It really was just the pants!)

For those of you who find maternity pants to be comfortable, great! Do — and wear — what works for you! Likewise, I appreciate that some women want to draw attention to their baby bumps. I'm just not one of them. For now, I'll keep my eyes out for the few brands of low-rise maternity pants on the market and continue to wear the few non-maternity pants that still fit for as long as I can.

I had hoped for a photograph from my 18-week sonogram that was worth showing a few loved ones. That didn’t happen, though. Instead, I was given an ultrasound picture that looked as though the fetus came straight out of a Frida Kahlo painting.

If everything was good from a health perspective, though, that's what was important.

My 20-week sonogram was far less uncomfortable than the first. I attribute that to the fact that the radiology technician accepted that fact that Little Bit doesn't like to be disturbed.  The moment that the technician moved the sonogram wand toward her face she put her hand up to try to swat the wand away.

“She doesn’t want to be bothered, does she?” the technician commented.

“That seems to be her default mode,” I said, laughing.

The technician turned on the 4D technology to see her face. I smiled when I saw her lips, nose and chin. Even at 20 weeks, her features were pronounced enough that I could tell whose features she had.

As the technician tried to gently move her for a full-face photograph, she moved her arms up in front of her face.

“She’s a smart and stubborn one!” the technician exclaimed.

“I’ve heard that before,” I replied, laughing.

He took the best picture that he had of her face and printed it out. Now, this picture was a keeper!

When he moved on to measure my cervical length, he commented that everything was perfect. Little Bit looked great, and my cervix was measuring almost a centimeter better than expected.

The following week in my monthly appointment with Dr. OB, she also uttered the words, "great," and "perfect." I doubted that I would ever hear those words with respect to my health and not feel both surprised and grateful.

I was more than halfway through my pregnancy. With each week and each pair of non-maternity pants that no longer fit, I realized how real this was.