sex

Sexual Genogram

For my Sexuality and Social Media class, I assigned a Sexual Genogram.

"What's a Sexual Genogram?" you might be wondering.

Sex Therapy in Philadelphia writes, "[t]he experiences we have had in our lives inevitably shape us into the person that we become. We all go through experiences that help to develop our personality, temperament, and other important characteristics that make us unique. Additionally, our experiences can create our patterns of behavior—both good and bad."

Those defining experiences impact our sexual development and behavior. I first heard about the Sexual Genogram assignment from Dr. Janell Carroll, a professor and author of the college textbook, Sexuality Now. Janell is a wonderful friend, educator and mentor and allowed me to modify her assignment.

The assignment for my class is as follows:

Think about your sexual history. Connect your early life experiences with your current understanding of yourself and sexuality in general. How does it, or does it not, impact you today?

Throughout the paper, ask yourself, “How did my cultural, religious, socioeconomic, ethnic, and family affect my own development? How do these experiences impact my current attitudes about my sexuality? What role, if any, did social media play in influencing my development and sexuality?”

Assigning this short paper has me thinking about what influenced my sexual development. When did I learn about sex? What was I attracted to? When were my first experiences with exploring, masturbation, orgasms and sex? What roles did my background and my family play in my development? How would my sexuality be different if I had grown up in the social media age?

I think this is a valuable assignment and not just for my students. I’m going to write my Sexual Genogram in the next few weeks, and I’m encouraging interested readers to do the same. If you’d like to post yours, but don’t feel comfortable doing so on your blog or don’t have your own site, I’m happy to post your Genogram here. No names or links required. xoxo

Ask (the Lelo) Siri

When I saw, “Ask Siri About Sex,” on my Twitter stream, I initially thought it was a typographical error. I was bothered that Suri was growing up so quickly. Her love of high heels is one thing, but publicly talking about sex?!?

I clicked on the link and laughed out loud, as I learned about the iPhone Siri. Once I realized that there was a new technology application called Siri, the attorney in me wondered what Lelo, the award-winning adult toy company, thought about it.

See, Lelo had come out with an incredibly powerful intimate massager named Siri in 2010 — long before Apple introduced its own version of Siri. As Lelo describes in the company’s open letter to Apple:

Siri will become a term that defines the best of both worlds – Apple representing business and Lelo representing pleasure.

I finally got my hands on a Siri, and readers, you’ll be asking this toy for so much more than you’ll ask the Siri app.

Most small sex toys are designed for those who occasionally use sex toys and don’t require a lot of power and vibration. They’re made with cheap (and often potentially toxic) materials and don’t last very long. And, their shapes and colors don’t lend themselves to being brought into the bedroom with a partner.

"I want you so much, baby. Now let me go grab my lipstick vibrator. Or, do you want the dolphin or Hello Kitty this time?"

As a seasoned *cough* toy user and reviewer, I look for certain elements in an adult product:

Is it free of potentially toxic phthalates and body safe?

Could the toy work for both a woman battling illness or very sensitive to clitoral stimulation, as well as a woman who prefers very powerful vibrations?

Is the product quiet enough so that neighbors, roommates or family members won’t hear?

Would a woman be embarrassed if airport security, her mother or her child found it? (AKA Does it look like a sex toy?)

Can the product be used in the bedroom with your partner?

Will this toy last and not break after a dozen uses?

Lelo’s Siri fits the bill for all of these and more!

As with all Lelo products, Siri is body friendly and ergonomically friendly. Press the “+” sign to turn it on. Keep pressing that button to increase intensity. Press the “-“ sign to decrease vibrations or hold that button for several seconds to turn it off. The arrows can change the pulse or speed of the vibrations for different sensations.

On the lowest level, the product is perfect for those women who are hypersensitive or who are recovering from illness. On the highest level (six), the toy will satisfy the more discriminating consumer.

Siri is quiet, fits in the palm of your hand, and doesn’t look like a sex toy. It’s actually designed as a personal massager so it can work all over your body. Siri isn’t meant for internal use, though, so stick to external stimulation.

Use Siri on your clit, the outside of your pussy, your nipples or the outside of your anus. Try the Siri at different angles since you might prefer the side of the toy more or less than the large tip (where the color is).

The Siri can also be used with your partner. Hold it against your clit while you’re on top of your partner or he’s behind you. Place Siri on the bottom side of your man’s shaft or rub it against his perineum (the spot between his balls and anus) during a hand job or oral sex. Or, hold the toy on light vibrations against his balls while you’re having sex.

After a two-hour charge, you can use the toy for at least four hours. You won’t have to worry about the Siri dying just as you are revving up!

The Siri comes with a one-year warranty and retails for $99. I haven’t given a toy a full Five Squeals out of Five* in a while, but this one deserves it.

The only thing you need to ask is how soon can it be shipped to you!

Pursuant to FTC Guidelines, I received the Siri free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.

*City Girl's Squeals of Approval Chart:

One Squeal: Bad. This toy is not worth your money. Do not pass go! Do not pay $2, let alone $200.
Two Squeals: Slightly Sub-Par. You won't hate this toy, but you won't necessarily like it either.
Three Squeals: Average/Good. This toy might not be the most innovative or satisfying, but it serves its purpose.
Four Squeals: Very good. A strong sex toy with minimal negatives that will be part of your regular line-up.
Five Squeals: Great. No toy does it better!

Scared of Getting Pregnant?

Thursday is the day to answer a reader’s relationship or sex question from Formspring so without further ado:

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years, but he doesn't want to have sex with me because of the fear of getting me pregnant. We always practice safe sex, but he still worries. How can I reassure him we will be fine?

Answer: Thanks for sharing what you’re going through in your relationship. A few other questions come to mind:

1. Has your boyfriend been this way for the past two years?
2. Has birth control ever failed your boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend of his and caused an unintended pregnancy?
3. Even though you’ve always practiced safe sex together, was there a pregnancy scare or a time when your period was late?
4. Is there something else going on here?

It’s important for couples to practice safe sex to prevent unintended pregnancies and protect against Sexually Transmitted Infections. If you’ve used birth control the entire two years, it gives me cause to pause that your boyfriend would become fearful at a later time.

If he has been consistently worried about getting pregnant throughout your relationship, would you consider using two forms of birth control? He could wear a condom, and you could use another method to be doubly protected. (There might have been a certain attorney-turned-blogger who used three methods of birth control with her first boyfriend because she so feared getting pregnant.)

I never like belittling someone else’s feelings or speculating where a person is coming from, but I feel like there’s more to the story. This level of anxiety about getting pregnant doesn’t typically present itself without a precipitating event. Did his parents have him when they were very young? Did a close friend get pregnant unexpectedly? Did you or an ex-girlfriend have a scare? Is he religious or fearful about what would happen if you did get pregnant?

I recommend talking to him about his concerns when you’re not in the bedroom and there’s no expectation of sex. Don’t assume what he’s feeling and leave your questions open-ended. Let him know that you love him and want to work through this as a couple. Offer to schedule an appointment for you both at a health clinic or gynecologist’s office to discuss birth control methods and their effectiveness. You can also ask for information about Plan B.

If this concern is a newer one for him, there might be more going on than just pregnancy fears. Has his interest in having sex with you changed over the past two years? If so, you might need to ask him why that is and confirm that you both are on the same page in your relationship.

I hope that this is just a small obstacle that you will overcome together. Please keep me posted.

Anything to add, readers? Two – or fifty – cents welcome! xoxo

Giveaway – The Guys’ Guy’s Guide to Love

Book Giveaway Time!

Would you like to kick off the year reading The Guys’ Guy’s Guide to Love, a new novel about modern love, sex and relationships set amidst Manhattan’s Madison Avenue? The book has been described as "Sex and the City" meets "Mad Men."

Synopsis:

When Max Hallyday, a rising New York adman, joins a glitzy Midtown agency, he knows the game is winner-takes-all. But when his best friend, Roger, a serial womanizer, seduces Max's billionaire client and puts his career in jeopardy, Max strikes back. He pens a column exposing the "Rogers" prowling the city: The Guys' Guy's Guide to Love. Championed by magazine publisher and former flame, Cassidy Goodson, Max becomes famous… or is it notorious? With the women of New York clamoring for more, sparks begin to fly with Cassidy. Can Max survive his instant celebrity and cutthroat rivals to discover where his heart really belongs? The Guys' Guy's Guide to Love is a fast-paced take of flawed men and savvy women competing for love, sex, power, and money in the city where they play for keeps.

About the Author:

Robert Manni is President of Agent 16 advertising agency in midtown Manhattan. For the past two decades, he has watched, played, and succeeded in Madison Avenue's relentlessly changing game. A true devotee of New York City, Robert is inspired by and remains in awe of its people, energy, attitude, and romantic backdrop. He is a world traveler, Reiki Master and teacher, certified advanced clinical Master Hypnotist, graduate of the Jose Silva Method/Life System, NYC Marathoner, and a bona fide "Guy's Guy" who somehow survived twenty years of single life in the big city. The Guys' Guy's Guide to Love is Robert's debut novel. He is currently working on his second book.

Reviews:

“Robert Manni has a message for his fellow men. You’ve got some catching up to do…His words of wisdom on that subject are woven throughout his first novel, ‘The Guys’ Guy’s Guide To Love’, which follows the lives of two New York men representing…the angel and the devil on every guy’s shoulder.” ~ The New York Post

“Prepare to man up and hunker down for this exuberant guided tour of the male sexual psyche.” ~ Ian Kerner, NY Times best-selling author of She Comes First and Love in the Time of Colic

If you’d like to enter for a chance to win the book, just include “The Guys’ Guy’s” in your comment. (I just like the repetition with the different, yet strategic, apostrophe placement.)

You must enter by Friday, January 13th for a chance to receive a hard copy or e-version of the book. The winner will be chosen via Random.org. Good luck!

* Pursuant to FTC Guidelines, I received this book free of charge from the publisher. Giveaways do not constitute product endorsements.

Third Blogiversary Thanks!

Today is the third anniversary of my blog.

In December of 2008, I was getting over Lawyer Boy, working on my thesis, and battling the side effects of repeated concussions. It seemed like the perfect time to finally write down my crazy dating and steamy sex stories. I blogged anonymously since I had planned to return to legal policy work. Back then, the majority of my readers were friends in real life.

In December of 2009, I recognized that I could turn heartbreak into blog gold by writing about the relationship debacle that was my time with "Buckeyes" Boy. Within six months, my readership had increased 10-fold, and I started realizing that my blog had turned into a brand. Could I write about sex and relationships and conduct workshops for a living?

In December of 2010, I had finished my fifth round of chemotherapy. I hadn't slept well in three months. I was on way too many medications, including steroids, and was in chemo-induced menopause. There wasn't much in my life at that time that was joyful, but I (somewhat thankfully) was too sick and out of it to care. I just wanted to get through treatment and wanted my life back. I did find moments of happiness when I used my experience to help educate others and when I received attention from either Mr. Agency or Best Boy.

This December, my blog is so much different than it was because I'm so much different than I was. This blog has changed me for the better. Cancer has changed me, too, and with respect to relationships, those changes are also for the better.

Have I made my share of mistakes over the past three years? Sure. But, I'm proud of myself for realizing that life provides enough drama for me all on its own. I don't need my relationships to provide anymore drama. My blog hits aren't as high as they were a year ago, and I'm 100% okay with that. My love life isn't a train wreck, and I don't make questionable choices anymore. A reader who enjoys going online to critcize others will be bored by my site now. A person who just visits this blog for entertainment purposes and doesn't want to hear about cancer or health advocacy will be similarly disillusioned.

I was talking to a group recently about my first book in the sex and relationships arena. I have enough posts to compile a book about my own dating adventures, but I don't know that I see myself going back. Do I really want to go to bookstores or college campuses and speak about my relationship mistakes or give added energy to guys who wronged me years prior? I won't say that will never happen, but it's just not my priority now.

I care about educating others. I care about talking about those topics that people don't often talk about — from anal to cancer to first orgasms to prioritizing our health to spicing up a stale relationship. I care about putting a face to cancer and letting people know that it's okay to date and have sex during a health crisis.

In the next month or two, my site will be redesigned to reflect the new direction. If you're still reading now, there will be more of the same, but the site will be easier to navigate. I'll also be linking my name to my brand more since I'm no longer anonymous. Stef Woods and City Girl Blogs are now one and the same.

For those of you who have read my blog faithfully, I thank you for standing by me after the train wreck has been cleaned up. I'm appreciative that so many of you out in the blogosphere have become my friends. You stuck by me through the highs and lows, and for that, I'll always be grateful. A special shout-out to Abby, Erika, Intrigue Me, Jean, Jo, Kat, Simone and Teacher Girl. I look forward to thanking you all in person some day soon!

With much appreciation from the bottom of my heart, a huge virtual hug, and best wishes for the happiest of holidays,

Stef

Orgasm Help

Nothing says, “Happy Holidays!” like answering a reader’s question from Formspring.

Question: I’ve never orgasmed, and I feel like every partner I’ve had takes personal offense to it. I want to learn how to reach that point, but nothing I try seems to work. I don’t get any pleasure from a man going down on me. I feel like I’m broken or something.

Answer: First and most importantly, you are not broken. Remind yourself of that often! Almost 1/3 of women never orgasm during sex. Unfortunately, there’s no tried and true playbook for reaching orgasm that works for every woman, but you might find some comfort and pleasure in any of the following recommendations:

Are you able to orgasm by yourself either clitorally or vaginally? Figuring out what you like on your own will allow you to feel more comfortable with your own body and orgasmic ability. Then, you can bring those techniques and preferences into the bedroom with your partner.

For self-exploration, I recommend that a woman spends some quality time with herself and by herself. You can start with a small toy and place it just on your clit — not inside. If you need to be relaxed first, do whatever gets you in the mood (music, wine, candles, chocolate, etc.). It’s your time to cater to you!

For starter toys, I recommend a bullet, the Lelo Nea or Mia, or the Fun Factory YOOO. You don’t need to go full force and buy a Hitachi wand for your first time, but the option is there.

It’s okay to set the stage or do anything to yourself that feels good. Rub your nipples, point your showerhead toward your pussy, lie on your bed and rub your pussy lips with your fingers. Open the top of the lips and place a finger or two directly on your clit. Continue to do whatever turns you on. It might take some time (15, 20 or even 30 minutes), but you don’t have to use a toy to experience an orgasm unless you want to.

Another option is when your clit is hard, place the tip of the bullet or small vibrator on your clit. If you like the comfort or warmth of a shower or bath, you can look for a waterproof bullet to bring in the shower with you. Once you’ve experienced an orgasm, you will know better how to guide your partner to help you achieve one. Another benefit of exploring yourself on your own first is that you won’t be afraid of or confused by the sensation. The mystery will be gone, and the pleasure will be all yours!

If you’re looking to achieve a G-Spot or vaginal orgasm, check out this post. The G-Spot, also known as the clitoral legs, can be elusive, but there are tips that can help you find and embrace it. The Smart Girls’ Guide to the G-Spot is a great book, and Fun Factory’s Smart Balls tighten the pelvic muscles to allow for increased orgasmic ability.

With respect to how to interact with your partner, I recommend being honest without being self-deprecating. Stress how you enjoy the intimacy of sex and accept that experiencing pleasure during sex doesn’t necessarily translate into reaching orgasm. Let your partner know that there’s nothing wrong with him or with you. If oral doesn’t stimulate you, help guide your partner toward the activities and motions that do. Use fingers, toys or positions to heighten your pleasure.

If you experience pain during sex, make an appointment with your doctor and ask for a referral to a specialist who deals with vaginal pain issues. An estimated 10% of women experience regular vaginal pain, which can make anything that contracts the pelvic muscles difficult to tolerate.

As with anything in the sex realm, try not to feel stressed or pressured about when you will orgasm. It will happen as it’s meant to.

Giveaway — Life’s Too Short to Date Men Like Me

A Hilarious Guide to Avoiding Jerks and Attracting Decent Men!

Every woman has either dated a jerk, or knows a friend that has dated one. But avoiding the jerks and attracting a decent man is actually a lot easier than you think.

Forget watching reruns of Sex and the City or chatting with your girlfriends late at night. In this guidebook, a self-professed jerk comes straight out, speaks the truth, and systematically explains how to

• spot, avoid, and say goodbye to jerks;

• tell if a guy is wasting your time;

• deal with players

• hunt for good men (and where to hunt for them).

You’ll also learn how to avoid common mistakes, such as overrating initial chemistry, inadvertently hurting a man’s ego, losing a good guy’s interest and much more. Full of witty satire and sarcasm. Get ready to laugh out loud with this hilarious anti-game.

What people had to say about this book:

“Hey Willie, this is so entertaining! Ha ha you have a great sense of humor, and your statements are so true!” – Denise

“We all know no one likes a tattletale. Hate the game, not the player. Every girl Tiger slept with knew he was married. Who is worse?” – Steve the player

“That was such an enjoyable and enlightening read. I mean it’s well written, witty, and one would think some of it is common sense, but sometimes people (i.e. me!) need common sense to slap them in the face!” – Cheryl

“Willie whistle blower has a nice ring to it. You know someone’s going to kick your butt one day? Good work!” – A guy Willie no longer parties with

“I don’t understand you. You go through university, build a promising career. Now you quit your job and write this book? Why would you tell the whole world you’re an asshole?” – Willie’s mom

About the author: Willie Booker grew up in England and Hong Kong. He graduated from the University of Nottingham with a degree in psychology, and went on to work in the finance industry. He is now a full time writer and dating coach, and will soon be launching a new dating and match making company targeting young professionals and businesspeople.

Purchase the book on Amazon here.

***

When Willie Booker, the author of "Life's Too Short to Date Men Like Me," contacted me to offer a book giveaway for my readers, I had to say, "Yes!" The synopsis and cover had me nodding my head and laughing out loud. Any good reader knows that I was the Queen of dating guys like Willie. (Wait a minute….he and both lived in Hong Kong. Maybe I have dated him ;)?)

One lucky winner will be chosen randomly to receive a copy of the book. Comment between now and Saturday, December 17th at noon to enter.

You must include the word, "Willie," in your comment. Why? I just like the author's name and the word's alternate meaning.

Good luck! xoxo

* Pursuant to FTC Guidelines, one reader will receive this book free of charge. I have not receive any payment or compensation for this post.

Faking it

Last week, I received three questions on Formspring related to having an orgasm. (Is there something in the air?) I’ll answer those questions in the coming weeks, but the interest in the topic has me thinking that we need to reframe the discussion.

Where’s the focus on intimacy?

Why don’t we educate women how to have orgasms, rather than commiserate over faking them?

Why, for heterosexual couples, is the focus on the guy’s lack of skill or sensitivity, or the woman’s frigidity?

Why can’t we prioritize knowing our bodies and sexual health in a positive way?

A young woman who is losing her virginity shouldn’t be expected or feel pressured to know her body as well as a woman 10, 20 or 40 years her senior. A prostate cancer survivor who can no longer ejaculate shouldn’t feel as though sex is pointless. A female who hasn’t yet experienced a vaginal orgasm shouldn’t feel as though she’s faking it. A committed couple that uses a toy to stimulate the female’s clit during sex shouldn’t question whether or not that act of sex constitutes “making love.” A guy shouldn’t feel emasculated if his wife doesn’t cum from sex or accuse her of being a cold fish.

Based on the female anatomy, most women don’t achieve women through vaginal intercourse alone. Only 14% of women always orgasm during vaginal sex, and almost 1/3 of women never do. The media appears far more concerned with talking about the problems than of promoting any solutions.

Some women orgasm easily. Some don’t.

Some people cum during foreplay. Some don’t.

Some like anal. Some don’t.

Some use sex toys. Some don’t.

Some can reach vaginal orgasm. Some can’t.

Sometimes sex is great! Sometimes it’s not.

Isn’t it more important that we try to know as much as we can about our wondrous bodies, rather than aspiring to some soap opera notion of love making? If we reframe the discussion to talk about the fun of the journey, rather than the destination, won’t we all enjoy the ride more?

There’s much fun to be had if women take the time to explore their own bodies, men learn about the clit and what their partners like, and couples communicate about their sexual health.

What are your thoughts on faking it and the pressures to reach orgasm?

Losing it!

Okay, so I’m a virgin. I want to wait until I’m married to have sex. When I do it for the first time, will it really hurt? And, will there be blood? How long does it take for there to be no pain after the first time?

Thanks for your question via Formspring. Most women who are contemplating losing their virginity wonder the exact same things.

I admire your resolve in deciding to wait until you’re married, especially given the pressures that society and peers place on having sex at younger ages. Since sex can change and complicate a relationship, it's preferable to wait until you're in a committed relationship to have sex for the first time. Whether you are male or female, remember that you never need to have sex if you don’t want to and aren’t sure you’re 100% ready.

Whether or not having sex for the first time will hurt depends on several factors:

How large is the guy, and how small are you? (It's worth noting, although you can't change biology.)

How wet are you naturally? (If you aren’t, make sure you have some lubrication on hand.)

How much foreplay is involved? I recommend having your man place one or two fingers on your clit or giving you oral before he goes inside you. If he can do either for at least 20 minutes to ensure that your muscles are fully relaxed and allow you to orgasm, that should help once you have vaginal sex.

Can you work your way up to losing your virginity? (I’m not sure if you’re waiting until you are married for any physical contact below the belt. If not, is it possible to do other activities so that there will be less discomfort?)

How much communication will there be between you and your partner? Do you feel comfortable telling your partner to stop or go slower? Will your partner ask you how it’s feeling? As is a recurring theme in my posts, communication is key!

Will you be using birth control, and if there's a prior sexual history on his part, has he been tested for STIs and HIV? These issues need to be discussed beforehand. For those of you who are having sex and aren't in a committed relationship, make sure that you have a lubricated latex condom available.

Will your partner be patient? It’s better to go slow at first to minimize any discomfort. He needs to be aware of this, too.

For some, losing their virginity is painful. For others, it’s not uncomfortable at all. A woman may bleed a small amount, but that is typically due to force and lack of lubrication. If you bleed outside of your period for more than a few days or in an abnormal amount, you should call your gynecologist immediately.

Whenever you decide that it’s the right time for you, know that the act might not be as blissful and orgasmic as a romance novel implies. However, if you wait for the right person, you can guarantee that it will be special. And, much like anything else, practice will definitely make perfect!

So, readers, was your first time awkward or painful? What tips would you have for this reader?

The Rules of Juggling

“Do you tell all the guys you see that you're dating around, or is it just assumed that everyone does it? If someone is seeing you exclusively, do you ever feel bad about not reciprocating? I'm trying to figure my own stuff out, so I'm comparing notes.”

When I received that question in my Formspring inbox, I smiled to myself. I can wax poetic about anal sex, what to do if you’ve found a lump in your breast, or what constitutes a body-friendly sex toy. But, when it comes to juggling more than one guy, I wouldn’t regard myself as an expert in that arena by any stretch of the imagination. In this regard, I have tried, but I have rarely succeeded.

I have tried to operate under a certain code of norms when I’m dating more than one person:

1. Be honest without being forthcoming. I don’t lie when asked about others I might be dating or having sex with, but I don’t offer up information about my dating life voluntarily;

2. Steer away from comparisons. If you’re dating two guys, there will always be one guy with whom you have more in common, one guy with whom there is more passion, one guy who you see more regularly, etc. I don’t compare one guy to the other, but rather, I accept each guy for what he brings to my life;

3. Respect the parameters of the relationship. If I say I’m sexually exclusive, I am. If I’m in a committed relationship, I am. If I’m not allowed to date or kiss other people, I don’t. Period; and

4. Safety first. If I’m not in a sexually monogamous relationship, I need to be using condoms. That need increases exponentially with each partner.

I do think there are a few other variables to dating more than one person:

1. If you’re not in an exclusive relationship, it is assumed that you’re dating other people. However, a double standard still exists. It is more socially acceptable for a guy to be sleeping with more than one person than a woman. I wish that wasn’t the case, but past partners have gotten upset with me when I was engaging in the exact same behavior as they were.

2. If one person wants more from the other person, then he or she should initiate that conversation sooner, rather than later. Dating more than one person can get even more complicated when one party is content with that arrangement in the long term, and the other is looking for a serious and exclusive relationship. Are you and the guys that you’re dating on the same page in terms of what you’re doing in the present and what you’re looking for in the future? If not, that could be a problem regardless of how many people you're dating.

3. Are all parties involved being honest with each other? There needs to be a certain level of trust, communication and respect here. If you decide to be sexually exclusive with one man, is he respecting that arrangement, too? If you both are dating other people, are you both equally as concerned about safe sex? If you think something feels off with your arrangement, trust your instinct.

4. Emotions can often trump rational thought. My polyamorous friends are able to be in serious relationships with a long-term partner, while dating others. They’re honest and open about their wants and needs, and they don’t get jealous when their partners go out with others. In fact, it’s encouraged and supported! I admire how they can approach their relationships in such a levelheaded manner, although I know that I wouldn't be comfortable with that type of arrangement.

So, what advice do you have for the reader who asked the question? Are there rules or norms that apply that you don’t think I covered?