New strategies

"Buckeyes" Boy hadn't paid for his parking tickets. He hadn't unblocked me from Twitter. He hadn't found an hour or two in almost three weeks to actually break up with me in person! We had been living together for almost three months! What kind of person treats someone like this?

But now, he hoped I was well and thought, "we definitely need to catch up…if we're going to try and be friends…[or] for closure." (Huh. Ya think? Isn't actually talking in person a key component in Adult Break Ups 101?) And, he was still signing his e-mails to me as "Me." Me? Seriously?!? What used to be adorable was now just patronizing!

I forwarded his latest e-mail to several friends. Their responses varied from "ignore" to "hear what he has to say" to "if he pays you for the tickets first, then you'll talk to him." I wasn't sure what I wanted to do so I kept my reply brief:

When and where are you thinking?


"Buckeyes" Boy went back and forth for a few brief e-mails and decided on that Sunday evening after work at a bar or restaurant between his office and my place. I wasn't sure if I could be friends with him after all he put me through, but I did want to hear what he had to say for himself.

My strategy for when we got together would be as follows:

1. Let him speak;

2. Without responding to anything he said (aside from nodding my head and the occasional "hmm"), present him with a folder with all the information that I've gathered inside. (And, yes, the anal-retentive lawyer in me would have an index and the documents divided by tabs.) Ask him if he cared to comment; and

3. Inform him that I was going to be blogging about all of this and that it would be my own personal mission to make sure that he didn't treat any other girl in the DC Twitter and Social Media community the way that he had treated me.

"Buckeyes" Boy and I had arranged to meet on December 22nd, but the Blizzard of '09 put a wrench in our plans. He let me know early in the morning that the Convention Center was closed that day. I thanked him for giving me a heads up, but sighed to myself in relief. I realized that I was happy that we weren't meeting. Why was I feeling that way?

I slept on it to give myself time to process, and when I awoke, the answer was clear to me:

I had absolutely no desire to see him. He was a master manipulator, and I didn't want to sit in front of him and get dragged deeper into his web of lies. What was the point?

I exhaled deeply and sent him the following e-mail:

It's clear that you knew you were never coming back to my place when you packed up all of your stuff. Given that we had talked about our relationship problems on numerous occasions before that, I wish you had just been straight with me about your plan.

I opened my heart and my home to you. I celebrated your successes and took care of you when you were sick. I paid for everything for you for 2 1/2 months to my own financial detriment. By choosing to end things how you did, you disrespected me.

I found out over the past two weeks that you have lied to me about several matters. I can't be friends with someone who takes advantage of me and lies to me.

I also don't see the point to talk to get closure. Please don't contact me again.


With that e-mail, I let the majority of my anger and sadness go. The guy I fell in love with didn't exist so how could I miss him? I trusted that he would respect my wishes, and that our story would end with that e-mail.

And, it did…

until 9pm…

on New Year's Eve.

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