Quick, Quick, Slow 2.0

Yesterday, I tackled two Formspring questions from a guy who fears that he orgasms too quickly.  But, what if the guy takes too long?

Question 1: I'm in a relationship now with a man who can't orgasm easily.  He can last well over an hour straight, and we've lasted the two-hour mark several times.  He says it feels great, but doesn't come.  What can I do to make him come faster?

Answer: A few things come to mind, but all involve open communication with your partner.  Have you asked him directly if this is a normal occurrence for him?  Some guys need to be in a certain position or need a certain type of stimulation (oral, anal, hand, etc.) to come.  There are other guys who can't come easily after drinking or when they're stressed.

In thinking of reasons why he might not cum easily in a traditional setting, how often does he masturbate?  Does he watch a lot of porn by himself?  If so, he needs to cut down on both.  You can also try to masturbate in front of each other so that you can see how he enjoys pleasing himself.  That would also show you how long it takes him to cum on his own.

It’s worth letting your boyfriend know that you don't need a long, drawn-out session to be satisfied.  (He might be under the misperception that you do.)  You can also ask him what, if anything, you can do to increase the chances that he will orgasm.  If you use condoms, you might try a new brand that is thinner or allows for more sensations.  Other ideas are to add the warmth of the shower or some arousel gel into the mix.

For most females, one or two-hour sessions can get tiring at a minimum and painful at a maximum.  Be sure to take breaks if you need to.  You can switch from traditional sex to oral sex or a hand job.  You also can get up to grab some water or go to the bathroom.  (If you have a propensity for urinary tract infections, you should make a point to go to the bathroom after you orgasm or when it’s reached the hour mark.  There's no need to jeopardize your health, and most guys don't have a problem with holding that thought while you're gone.)  Upon your return to the bedroom, have some lubricant handy to make reentry more comfortable.

Let me know what works. xoxo

Readers, any other suggestions?

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