Your questions answered

I’ve received a lot of questions about “Buckeyes” Boy over the past month. I thought I could tie up a few loose ends by answering them.

1. Have I seen “Buckeyes” Boy since December 1st?

Yes, actually. I saw him at a tech event last month. I RSVP-ed at the last possible moment so I don’t know if he knew that I would be there, but I knew that he would.

I wasn’t sure if seeing him would trigger anything. But, my heart didn’t beat fast, I didn’t cry, and I didn’t have the desire to jump on the bar, point at him and sing the Eastern Motors jingle. (For you out-of-towners, click on this to see the worst commercial in history. For you locals, I’m sorry if I got the jingle in your head, but my friends and I all sing this when “Buckeyes” Boy’s name comes up in conversation. Yes, my girls and I are wrong.)

Seeing “Buckeyes” Boy reminded me of what a fine man he is. But, unlike many of my past ex-boyfriends, I have absolutely no desire to hook up with him again…ever. I’ve seen what’s on the inside, and that’s far from fine.

That night, I had decided that I would exchange pleasantries with “Buckeyes” Boy, if he approached me. But, he avoided me like the plague. When he walked past me at the end of the night like there was a fire, I laughed out loud.

2. How was I emotionally able to write about this the past couple of month?

Good question. It wasn’t easy, but it was cathartic. I think my writing style is a benefit and a detriment when it comes to posts about conflict or break ups. I’ve been blessed with a great memory, and when I write, I take myself back to that time. I try to remember every detail and my emotions so I can write about the experience accurately.

With that said, if I wrote about a time when “Buckeyes” Boy’s actions or inactions made me cry in the past, I was at my laptop crying in the present. It was tough to relive that, especially given how blunt the comments to those posts were. But, I also realized how strong I am.

3. Am I really okay?

Yes! I’m far happier now than I was during the last half of my relationship with “Buckeyes” Boy. All these great things started happening to me right after he handed me back the keys to my place (personally, professionally and educationally). A weight was lifted off of my shoulders, and I felt like all the blessings that I was receiving were affirming signs from above that I shouldn’t be with him.

4. Is “Buckeyes” Boy, [his real name]?

I’m NOT posting his real name or Twitter handle on my blog or Twitter feed. Period. In my mind, that wouldn’t be fair since I don’t post my real info on here.

If you are able to put two and two together, I’m happy to tell you discreetly under the condition that information from this blog will NOT appear on his Twitter feed, or be broached with him at an event or at his workplace.

Yes, he played me. Yes, I blogged about it. But, I trust that karma and “Buckeyes” Boy’s lies will take care of the rest.

In the past week, several people have contacted me, realizing that “Buckeyes” Boy had lied to them, too (in personal and professional settings). DC is a small city, and the DC Twitter community is even smaller. For instance, it might not be the best thing to tell the woman who is handling my PR and a recruiter that you’re Canadian…when you’re not.

5. Do I think “Buckeyes” Boy cheated on me?

I don’t honestly know. And, I doubt I’ll ever know, unless someone else contacts me after this post. I knew that I needed to get STD testing done in mid-November after he revealed how he will go out to bars to look for one-night stands instead of masturbating, and I did just that. (Thankfully, all is well on that front.)

Plus, the boy lied to me and manipulated me for months. If he put his cock inside some other girl, would it hurt me? Sure. I’m human. But, does it really change anything? No.

6. What would I say if I knew “Buckeyes” Boy was reading this?

When we were together, we talked on quite a few occasions about how we hoped our mothers were looking down on us from heaven. We hoped that they had met and that they could see how happy we were together. I know that my Mom is looking down on me now and is proud of how I handled myself during our relationship. Can your Mom look down on you and say the same?

Oh, I found your Match profile. (He reinstated an old profile the first week in December. I had a vibe and used an old password to check.) Here are my friendly recommendations:

a. Change your profile picture to what you use on Foursquare or crop the photo of you and Paul from your friend’s birthday. The current picture makes you look like you have a gut, which you don’t. Your best features are your smile and arms. Pick a photo that shows them off;

b. There’s no need to lie about places you’ve traveled to or college athletics. Those lines aren’t necessary at your age; and

c. Be straight about what you are looking for. You are not looking “to connect with someone mind, body and soul.” DC is a city with many career-oriented women. Just say something like, “I have a demanding job that I love and little time for a relationship. If you’re in a similar place and looking for companionship, please send me an e-mail.”

I’m happy to answer other questions about this or anything else, but I hope to leave Buckeyes Boy behind this week and moving on to sex questions and The Baron! xoxo

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