The perfect guy…almost

Google revealed that Safeway Guy was married. But, what if the bio that I had found online was out-of-date? He and I had such an amazing connection when we first met that I wondered (or was it hoped?) if he was single — or at least separated.

I wanted to find out so I decided to meet Safeway Guy for coffee yesterday as planned. I tried to remind myself that even if he was off the dating market, he was definitely a great professional contact.

I met him for coffee in the complex where I live and he works (at least until his company moves offices at the end of the week). He had said that it was okay if I brought my dog so I did. Safeway Guy and I had a perfect coffee date, but if he's married, was it a date?

He insisted on paying and getting me a little something to eat in case I was hungry. He was wonderful with my very shy rescue dog. It was so easy to talk to Safeway Guy about my thesis and former clients since he works in a related field. And, he confided in me about a delicate professional matter with which he was dealing. If we could have stayed at the coffee shop all day, we probably would have!

I kept waiting for him to bring up something about his family, but he didn't. I guess I can't blame him, but he was so seemingly perfect that I found myself hoping that the bio I had found online was wrong.

As we walked back to his office, he mentioned that he wished his offices weren't moving because he loves Foggy Bottom. The only bright size to the move is that his commute will be shorter from his home in Potomac.

"So, do you live with your family in Potomac?" I inquired, trying to be smooth.

"Yeah…I need to go to the bank. Do you want to walk up that way with me? I don't think they will allow your dog to come inside," he commented.

Wow! He dodged that question like it was a bullet! We hugged and kissed on the cheek goodbye, as he booked it into the bank. I guess he answered the question…sort of. But, I had hoped for a definitive,

"Yes, I live with my wife and two kids in Potomac. She and I are happily married, and you and I can be professional contacts or platonic friends, but that's it."

I continued walking with my dog, arriving back to my apartment 20 minutes later. In that short time, Safeway Guy had already sent me an e-mail! In the e-mail, he wrote that seeing me was the best part of his hectic day and that he looks forward to taking me out for a more relaxed lunch. And, if I'm being honest with myself, I'm looking forward to having lunch with him, too. Throughout the afternoon, we sent each other several more e-mails before his Internet service was disconnected.

A part of me wanted to believe that Safeway Guy wasn't still with his wife since he didn't fully answer my question. He and I aren't friends on Facebook, but he has a profile. The bio that I had found online the day before noted his wife's first name. I scrolled through his friends' list and found his wife's profile. Her profile pic features a photograph of their smiling family. So, I have my answer.

Am I tempting fate just by being friends with him? Is the fact that we have so much in common personally and professionally an asset as we try to build a friendship or just too risky? Is it possible to have a healthy friendship with a married guy?

Next time, I'm going to Trader Joe's. Shopping there is much less complicated.

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