I found myself surprisingly comfortable with Mr. Exec. We were benefits without friendship – nothing more and nothing less. However, my comfort was replaced by nostalgia, as I wrote a post about when we first dated. A lot had changed between March and June, and I wondered:
Why were Mr. Exec, the Gentleman, and Mr. Exec, the Great Lay, mutually exclusive?
I texted Mr. Exec to let him know that I was smiling, writing about the day we played hooky together back in March.
Mr. Exec: I hope that you’re keeping things general and not writing a lot of detail.
Me: Umm…have you read my blog ;)?
Mr. Exec: You know I’m a private person, and I don’t want our time together to be blogged about.
Me: I can’t promise that. I agreed to keep out what we had discussed, but this is what I do. Can we talk about this in person?
He didn’t reply, but called me 30 minutes later. By that point, it was 12:30am, and I was exhausted.
Me: I definitely think we need to talk about this, but it’s late and I’m tired. Can we table this until we see each other next?
Mr. Exec [without answering my question]: I support what you’re doing, but I need to know what you’ve written about me.
Me: So…you haven’t read any of my blog?
Mr. Exec: No, I haven’t.
Me [pausing]: K. I’m known for including a lot of detail so I write about everything – from how we met to what we do on our dates. But, I’ve never used your name or talked about what you do professionally or anything like that.
Mr. Exec: Have you talked about what I look like?
Me: Yes.
Mr. Exec: What did you say?
Me: I wrote that post a month or so ago, but I think I said that you’re very attractive, tall and light-skinned.
Mr. Exec: Did you say that I have green eyes?
Me: I believe so.
Mr. Exec: Everyone’s going to know it’s me! Who else do you know in DC who is a light-skinned black man our age with green eyes?
Me: Seriously? There are a lot of guys in this city that match that description.
Mr. Exec: Not guys who are making something of themselves!
“Wow,” I thought to myself. “He is such a narcissist!” I was actually having lunch the following day with a successful, light-skinned friend who happens to have green eyes. But, apparently, Mr. Exec is the only one in the entire Metro DC area!
Me: I disagree with you on that one. But, this isn't really a conversation to have over the phone.
Mr. Exec: You can’t tell me when to talk. If I have something to say, I say it!
Me: It’s 1 in the morning. Do you really think that now is the best time for this discussion?
Mr. Exec apparently did think it was the best time for this conversation, as he spent another 30 minutes talking about no one tells him to be quiet and how he called me at 12:30am, not 1am. Those comments were interspersed with lines about how he thinks my blog is great, but that I shouldn’t blog about him.
I was drained and muted the phone. For the first time since I had met Mr. Exec last October, I shed tears over him.
Mr. Exec: Are you listening to me?
Me: Yes, I am. I just got quiet because this hurts a lot. I didn’t want to get into this over the phone, and I asked you if it was possible to have this conversation later when we’re in person, but you said, “No.”
[Pause.]
When we met, I told you about my blog and gave you the link. When we reconnected this year, you came to my Blog Party. You knew what I was doing, and you acted like you supported me! Now, you seem to have a problem when it’s about you. Very few people know we’re together so no one who doesn’t know us well is going to make the connection.
[Pause.]
Plus, this is more than a hobby. This is turning into a business for me! You knew that! I would never ask you to change what you’re doing professionally so I don’t take it kindly to you doing that to me!
Mr. Exec and I went back and forth for another 20 minutes or so, but it was clear that we were at an impasse. He didn’t want me blogging about him, and I didn’t know if it was worth changing my style for a great lay. When we hung up the phone, I honestly didn’t know if I would see him again.