He’s great on paper, but…

July 2009

I was still on a high from meeting JAG Man. We had a lot in common, and we were both in similar places in our lives.

We met on a Thursday, and he asked me out for the following evening. (He won points for not playing the "wait three days" game. I was never one for those dating rules.) JAG Man invited me out for a dog walk and coffee. I was looking forward to that, but my sick pooch put a wrench in those plans. I figured that JAG Man would suggest that we grab coffee without my dog, but he surprised me by asking if I wanted to have dinner…at Westend Bistro by Eric Ripert. The wanna-be foodie in me gave him extra points for that wonderful suggestion.

I thoroughly enjoyed our dinner, but I liked JAG Man's company even more than the food. He's incredibly intelligent, and I felt inspired by his accomplishments. He also has a kind heart, and his face lit up when he talked about spending time with his nieces.

After dinner, we walked back to my place. I invited JAG Man inside, and he helped me prepare sangria for my Girls' Night the following evening. I kept waiting for him to try to make a move, but he never did. Three hours later, he said that he needed to leave before he "lost control." I wasn't sure if that would have been a good thing or a bad thing, but I respected the fact that he wanted to take his time getting to know each other. (I had jumped into bed way too soon with far too many guys. At this stage of my life, though, I was interested in a relationship, not just casual sex.)

JAG Man and I made plans to see each other on Sunday night. I had so many leftovers from my party that we just had dinner at my place. After we ate, we sat on my balcony and talked for a couple of hours. When we went back inside my apartment, he moved toward me and kissed me. Really kissed me.

His lips and tongue felt perfect against mine. He kissed with just the right blend of softness and strength. We stayed on the couch and made out for two hours like we were in high school. I was wet, and he was hard, but neither of us talked about sex. I had a feeling that there would be time for that in the future.

As JAG Man was leaving, I realized that I had a little crush on him. I hadn't had a crush on a guy in a very long time, and it felt good. A half-hour later, JAG Man called to let me know that he had gotten home okay.

JAG Man: I had a great time tonight.

Me: So did I.

JAG Man: I wanted to let you know that I'm not really sure what I'm looking for right now.I don't know where I see this going.

Me: Well, we're just getting to know each other so we don't need to talk about that yet, do we?

JAG Man: Well, I broke up with my ex-girlfriend two years ago, and that was really hard. I'm still processing my feelings. Since she and I broke up, I have a tendency to fall really fast for girls and then, when we start to get close, I stop calling them.

Me: [Holy Shit! Where is this even coming from? We just met three days ago! We barely know each other. Plus, who throws out all his issues on the second date?] So…are you telling me this because you want me to stop you if you do that with me or because you just want me to know why you won't be calling me back down the road?

JAG Man: The latter.

Me: [Long pause.] Okay. [Another pause.] It just seems a bit odd to bring this all up now.

JAG Man: Well, I dated a girl earlier this year, and when she confronted me as to why I became distant, I told her that I wasn't ready for anything serious. She had said that she wished she knew that from the beginning, and I didn't want to make the same mistake with you.

Me: Okay. Thanks then.

He and talked for another half hour or so about other topics, but in the back of my head, I kept wondering…

Was Mr. Great on Paper really not that great when it came to relationships?

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