“My husband really likes it when I’m on top, but I don’t find it that enjoyable. Do you have any tips for making it better?” my friend inquired.

Before exploring options in the cowgirl position, it’s worth defining what you mean by enjoyable. Are you able to have a vaginal orgasm in other positions and want to do so now when you’re on top? Is that a difficult position for you to stay in for an extended period of time because it’s uncomfortable or you don’t know what to do? Or, do you simply like other positions more?

75% of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone, and 10-15% never orgasm. If you are able to orgasm from other positions, communicate with your husband. Make sure he knows from your words, expressions or movements when you’re reaching orgasm or if you’d like to switch positions.

If you haven’t reached orgasm on top, experiment with different angles. Rest your arms on the wall, or use a couch or headboard for leverage. Arch your back away from your husband during one session, and then put your chest on top of his for another. Sit on top of him and have him sit up, too. Straddle him with your knees on the bed and then switch to a squatting position in which your feet are on the bed. Or, try the reverse cowgirl position so your back is facing his chest.

With each different angle, you can vary your pace from slower to faster. You can also move your body up and down, and then switch so that you move your body forward and back. Finally, rotate your hips in a circle clockwise and then counter-clockwise.

Remember that there's no need to rush through all of these angles and paces as though you’re playing “Beat The Clock.” Take your time and experiment on numerous occasions to figure out what, if anything, you enjoy.

If you find the position uncomfortable to hold for an extended period of time, it helps to find something to lean on like the back of a couch or your headboard. You can also lie or sit on top of him and ask him to move his hips up and down.

If you are like the overwhelming majority of women who can’t orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone, being on top will allow you to easily touch your clit during sex. You can use your fingers, guide your man to use his fingers, or rely on the added stimulation of a body-safe cock ring. (Lelo’s Tor II and Trojan Vibrations are great picks!)

Not every woman will love every position. But, with some experimentation and communication, I hope that you’ll learn to enjoy being on top more!

So, readers, what tips do you have?