I felt like I was in the middle of the ultimate Twitter relationship story. I had met Buckeyes Boy at the Twestival in September 2009, and for all intents and purposes, we moved in together after our first date. And, now, he had gone from telling me that he missed me on Thanksgiving to breaking up with me by blocking me on Twitter. Talk about full circle!
I called my friend, Julie, when I noticed that the number of my followers on Twitter had dropped by one.
Me: I know that we’ve had our problems, but come on!
Julie: This doesn’t make sense.
Me: Well, Z brought up the possibility last night that something happened with Buckeyes Boy or his family. I feel like he’s okay, though, since he and his Dad went to the Steelers-Ravens game last night. (He had posted pictures on Twitter.) What should I do?
Julie: Does he still have stuff at your place?
Me: Not really. He took almost everything to get organized, do laundry and pack before the holiday. I even jokingly asked him if he was coming back and he said of course. Why didn’t he just tell me?
Julie: Maybe he was doing the guy thing and just didn’t want to deal with it. He still has your keys and owes you for the parking tickets?
Me: Yes.
We decided that I should send him a passive-aggressive e-mail, playing dumb about the whole Twitter blocking incident. He and I clearly needed to talk so I figured that I would get more with sugar than with salt. I wrote:
Buckeyes Boy,
Since I haven’t heard from you, I hope that you are okay. I am little confused since when you left for Georgia, things seemed good with us. I’m not really sure what happened. Would it be possible to grab coffee or a drink tonight or tomorrow to talk?
xoxo, City Girl
The rest of the afternoon, I alternated between shock, relief and sadness. One friend asked what Buckeyes Boy said in 140 characters or less.
Me [laughing out loud]: He didn’t! He just blocked me!
The line, “Buckeyes Boy broke up with my on Twitter,” became my own version of “Berger broke up with me on a post-it note” from Sex and the City.
I had texted that line with a “WTF?!?” at the end to several friends, including Carly. When her plane landed at Reagan National, she called me from the shuttle.
Carly: Are you okay?
Me: Eeh. I just came from acupuncture so I’m kind of nauseous and loopy anyway. I just can’t believe that he would do this!
Carly: I’m coming over.
Me: You just got back to town. I’m sure you want to go home.
Carly: I’ll be there in 30.
I have tears in my eyes as I remember how Carly took care of me that night. (She is a wonderful friend!) I didn’t want to eat. I cried about 10 minutes of every hour. I tried to watch TV and then would just make a comment about how disrespectful Buckeyes Boy was.
Me: For all the problems that we had, I never imagined that he would do this. He was the one who kept saying that he wanted to be in this relationship and stressing the importance of good communication. His towel is still on the bathroom door. [Carly gets up, finds the towel and throws it in the hamper.] The second bedroom [where he got dressed] still smells like his cologne. [She closes the door to the second bedroom.] We had sex right before he left. And, he still has my keys. Seriously, who does this?!?
I went to bed early since Carly was there to walk Nutter before bed. When I got up at 4:00am, a thought crossed my mind:
Anyone who would do this to me isn’t The One! Period. I had wanted to know if Buckeyes Boy would step it up before New Year’s, and I had my answer!
I went back to bed and fell sound asleep. When Carly and I woke up at 8am, something occurred to me:
Me: So…remember when you were texting Buckeyes Boy at the Convention Center? [She nods.] Do you still have his number in your phone?
Carly: I should. [She grabs her phone and starts scrolling.]
Me: Mind telling me what it is? [Buckeyes Boy had a phone number with a (301) area code when we met. His phone broke about halfway through our relationship, but he claimed that he was still waiting for Apple to send him a part. For over a month, we’d be restricted to e-mailing each other, instead of the usual calls and texts.]
Carly: 202-867-5309.*
Me: That fucker!!!
Carly: That’s not the number you had?
Me: Nope. He gave me some bullshit about how he was able to text you because he borrowed some friend’s sim card and how that only worked for a few days. Seriously, what the fuck?
Carly: That’s shady. [I pick up my phone to call him, using *67 to make my number private.] Is he going to be up at this hour?
Me: He’s probably getting ready for work, but I just want to make sure it’s his voice mail.
Sure enough, it was. I was livid! As Carly was in the shower, I thought about my options and decided to send Buckeyes Boy the following text:
Carly came over last night since I was sad and shocked that after opening up my heart and my home to you, you broke up with me by blocking me on Twitter. Imagine my surprise when I found out that you had a new number that you never gave me! I’ll be at Bardeo tonight. Bring my keys and the money for the tickets.
When Carly came out of the bathroom, I showed her the text.
Carly: What’s at Bardeo?
Me: A Twixer [Twitter mixer]. I’ve never gone to one of these things before because the people there are his friends, but fuck that!
Carly: Are you okay to go?
Me: Oh yeah. I’ve been way too nice to him for way too long. [I smile a mischievous smirk.]
Did I hear from Buckeyes Boy? Did I go to Bardeo? That, my friends, is for the next post. xoxo
* Bonus if you recognize the number with my apologies if you have the song stuck in your head, too!