How can you master the art of dirty talk to enhance your sex life? Read on for my tips:
1. Status check.
There are people who never curse or talk in slang, while others use these words as part of their daily vernacular. If you fall into the former group, then it would be out-of-character to look at your partner and let out a barrage of expletives or slang words. Assess how you normally interact as a couple. Then, working within your comfort zone, take it up a notch.
If you’re new to talking dirty, ease into it via text messaging or in the bedroom with the lights out. If that seems too daunting for you, think of phrases when you’re alone in the shower and whisper them out loud. Get yourself warmed up to the idea by finding expressions that excite you.
2. Getting started.
Whether you are new or experienced at dirty talk, texts and emails can be used to spice up your relationship. If you aren’t sure of what to say, keep it simple:
Missing your [blank]; or
Can’t wait to kiss/lick/suck/fuck your [blank].
Fill-in-the-blank or leave it open and see how your partner responds. If you have special nicknames or words that you use together, include those in your dirty texts. Secret phrases that only you two share can be sexy!
If work and family keep you and your partner from spending much quality time together, then incorporate dirty talk into your routine to reconnect. Send a text or write a note before date night to build up the anticipation for that time and remind your significant other how you feel about him or her.
3. Know your audience.
If your partner has never expressed an interest in anal, then I wouldn’t send a text or make a comment in the bedroom about that. Likewise, if your significant other isn’t the quickest with double entendres, steer clear of those.
Think about what you and your partner find hot or enjoyable and add those things into your repertoire of dirty talk!
4. What manner works best for you?
How do you and your significant other communicate? Is sexting a good way to spice up your relationship, or is e-mail easier? Did you give cards to each other when you first met? What about the phone or Skype? Or, are you people who thrive on face-to-face conversation? Stick with what is comfortable for you both if sex talk is a new element to your relationship.
5. Ready, set, talk!
Use virtual modes of communication to help you develop your naughty side outside of the bedroom. Then, bring that excitement into the bedroom. If you’re not accustomed to talking in bed, a simple “right there,” “more,” or “don’t stop” is a great way to start. Then, incorporate the language that you used in your naughty texts or notes into your live dirty talk.
Once you start to feel more comfortable, build on that. Look your partner in the eyes, hold his or her face close to yours and say exactly what you want him or her to do to you:
I can’t wait for you to put your…
The goal here is to sound sexy, but genuine. It’s not hot if you say anything in a monotone or apprehensive voice without any passion behind it. But, if you’re at ease saying a word and you’re clearly enjoying yourself, then your partner should sense that and respond accordingly!
Be yourself, and remember that there’s no right or wrong here if it feels okay to you both. Have fun!xoxo