Last night, I attended the DC Twestival. It was a gathering of the DC community on Twitter to benefit Miriam's Kitchen, an organization that provides meals and comprehensive case management services to DC's homeless residents. The Twestival was a huge success, raising enough funds in three hours to purchase 1/5 of the meals for Miriam's Kitchen in an entire calendar year. Twitter + activism + a $20 donation + the hard work of the organizers and sponsors = proof that social media can make a difference!
I joined Twitter a couple of months ago, after reading a post on WordPress.com that a Twitter account would lead to more hits on my blog. Sure enough, within a week of registering, I started to receive 30-40 more hits a day. I also like that Twitter provides another outlet for communicating with my friends and readers. I'm far from a Tweet-aholic, but I enjoy the site more than I thought I would.
My Twitter account — much like my blog — is done anonymously. I am City Girl with the same photo of the back of my head. I'm still hesitant about revealing my true identity, though. The legal community in DC is by and large very conservative. I don't care to let government officials or other attorneys know what happens when I take off my Tahari suit since that would negatively impact their opinion of me professionally.
So, last night's event was a first for me. I introduced myself to quite a few people using both my real first name and my blog link. When people asked what I blogged about, I said:
Relationships and Sex.
The response was overwhelmingly positive, and comments like the following made me smile:
Ike: Wow! You're a sex blogger. Usually people who write about sex aren't that attractive so you are a rarity. [Ike, you made me blush.]
Blogger Extraordinaire: I'm not surprised that you've been getting a good amount of traffic. Women who blog about sex will get a following. But, you can tell through your writing that your posts are real. That's not always the case. [Thanks! You are the blogging master, though. I'm like Daniel to your Mr. Miyagi.]
I left the event with a smile on my face, as well as the realization that I'm a sex blogger. If you've been reading my posts for a while, you probably are looking at your computer screen with a "Duh!" expression on your face. You might be thinking:
C'mon, City Girl, you've written online instruction manuals for a variety of sexual activities. You've talked about having sex in explicit detail with your ex-boyfriends. Of course you are a sex blogger!
Okay, I get it. The Twestival was just a unique experience for me since I was in a room with people, giving them my cards with my blog information. I wasn't Attorney City Girl or Perpetual Student City Girl anymore. I was Sex Blogger City Girl. That's new for me.
I'm also trying to figure out the dating scene if people know about my blog. I started blogging after I broke up with Lawyer Boy late last year. I also took some time away from guys to get over that relationship before getting back into the dating game. In the past several months, I've gone out on dates with a few guys, but haven't shared my blog link with any of them.
Last night, though, was different. I met someone with whom I instantly felt a spark. I know enough about him to know that I want to know more – whether as friends or more than that. When I first introduced myself to him, I gave him my card. So, he has a dossier of my relationship past at his fingertips. That's a bit scary to me for several reasons:
I'm 36. I clearly have a past. Anyone I'm going to date will have one, too. But, to see it all there in black and white on the computer might be too much for a new (or potentially new) guy in my life. I don't want to know the intimate details about anyone I date either. But, if it was available to me at the click of a button, curiosity would get the best of me and I would click away.
There is also still a double standard with respect to sex and the sexes. Men might want their women to be sexy and have a naughty side, but how naughty is too naughty? Will I be judged by a guy for even having a blog with these types of posts? If he's okay with it, will I have to keep my link to myself when we're out or will he ask me not to blog about him at all?
I am reminded of that line from Usher's song, "Yeah," that says how he "wants a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed." I'd like to think that I'm a lady on the street, but does the mere existence of my blog and my penchant for double entendres change that?
I was an avid Sex and the City fan (not too shocking, I know). But, Carrie Bradshaw could just tell guys she met that she had a column in the newspaper or was a sexual anthropologist, and the men accepted those facts. There was never an issue or storyline about a guy's discomfort with what she did or his concern over whether she would write about him. I think that works for a fictional television show, but will that work in the real world?
I have a feeling Dr. Ruth never had to deal with this. What's a sex blogger to do?