Do It for (Dr.) Johnny!

For some reason, I am the subject of quite a few rumors regarding hooking up or trying to hook up with guys at weddings. Ironically, I’ve never done either. Never. The girly-girl in me loves weddings, and I usually spend the day helping my friends, the brides, with anything and everything. I’m also of the mindset that it’s not appropriate to be making out with some guy on the dance floor as my friends’ families look on. Nonetheless, rumors tend to follow where I’m concerned, even if I don’t do anything to warrant them. I guess that’s the price that I pay for being a flirt and open about my sexuality in other settings.

Back in 2002, a good friend of mine, Jenna, got married to her longtime love, Curtis, in The Virgin Islands. The weather was perfect, the resort was beautiful, and 50 of us had an amazing time!

Shortly before the wedding, Jenna told me that Curtis’ older brother, Dr. Johnny, had gotten in a bit of a pickle (pun intended). Dr. Johnny was married and expecting his third child. His wife found a videotape in their car of Dr. Johnny and his mistress having sex. How dumb was this guy to videotape sex with the other woman and then leave the tape in his car? Paging Dr. Idiot. Stat!

Despite the wife’s realization that Dr. Johnny was a cad, she had no intention of leaving him or kicking him out. Apparently, she didn’t want to risk losing any of Dr. Johnny’s medical dough. So, Dr. Johnny kept screwing around and showed up in The Virgin Islands sans his wife who was too far along in her pregnancy to travel.

Dr. Johnny arrived in St. John in time for the rehearsal dinner. I missed the dinner because I was so sick that day so he and I did not cross paths until cocktails the following afternoon. I didn’t know who he was initially. I just saw a fine brotha in a suit. Only after the reception had ended and 15 people ended up in the hot tub did we meet.

“Aah! That’s Dr. Johnny,” I thought to myself. If I was a guy, my hard-on would have gone away right that instant.

The hot tub revelers dwindled as the hours went on, but I was in for the long haul. As it neared 3am, I was alone in the hot tub with Curtis’ college-aged son and Dr. Johnny. From my perspective, both guys were very attractive and fun to talk to, but they were off-limits. I have way too much respect for my friend to hook up with her 20-year-old stepson or her married brother-in-law at her wedding. (Yes, even I have my limits!)

After we got out of the hot tub, Dr. Johnny asked if he could come to my room to talk. I said,

“Sure. As long as you’re cool with nothing happening since I wouldn’t do that to Jenna.”

“Yeah. OK. I’m just not tired yet and since I’m staying in a suite with my folks. I don’t want to go back and have to go straight to sleep on the sofa bed,” he replied.

We went back to my room and talked for a while. The subject of his marriage came up. I didn’t tell him that I knew about the videotape, but he intimated that his relationship was on rocky ground. Then, Dr. Johnny tried to kiss me, and I declined.

“What if I just please you? I could go down on you. You would enjoy it,” he inquired.

“I’m sure I would, but I’m not interested,” I replied.

We dozed off, and when the sun rose at 6am, he left. He was heading to a month-long fellowship in New York City soon, and I gave him my number. I told him that we could talk or hang out as friends anytime, but that I wouldn’t consider anymore than that unless he and his wife were no longer together.

He walked out of my room, and I never heard from nor saw Dr. Johnny again.

Four years later in 2006, I was out at McCormick and Schmick’s after a Wizards game with Jenna and Curtis. Dr. Johnny called during the game and Curtis let it go to voicemail. At dinner, though, Curtis asked me what really happened in St. John.

“Nothing,” I said, “we talked. He wanted to mess around. I didn’t. We fell asleep for a little bit. That was it. Jenna knows I wouldn’t do that.” [Jenna nodded in agreement.]

“Our family had a meeting about this,” Curtis commented.

“A meeting about what?” I asked with some confusion.

“Well, my parents were livid that he rolled back to the room at sunrise after spending the night with a white woman while his pregnant wife was home with their children. They sat him down and scolded him for everything and told him that he needed to shape up. He swore that he didn’t do anything inappropriate with you, but given his track record, they didn’t believe him,” Curtis explained.

Oh My God! A meeting about me? When nothing even happened between us? Jenna and I were laughing hysterically by this point. I rolled my eyes that there was another wedding rumor about me, and Jenna and I commented that Dr. Johnny was a tool.

I was feeling a bit mischievous so I decided to have a little fun at Dr. Johnny’s expense. Curtis said that Dr. Johnny was in Las Vegas that weekend with his latest girlfriend (and yes, he was still married). I asked if I could give Dr. Johnny a call, and Curtis happily dialed his number as he wondered what I would do next.

After Dr. Johnny picked up and I said who I was, I went into a little monologue,

“I’m sitting here with Curtis and Jenna. We were reminiscing about their beautiful wedding, and that made me think of you…and our beautiful night. And then I thought, that it could have been even more beautiful and special if we could have spent the whole night together without any inhibitions or restraints. Yes, the whole night. I’ve been hoping that our paths might cross again and we could have an even more wonderful time without any limitations.”

Curtis and Jenna were trying to contain their laughter, and Dr. Johnny was just on the phone muttering, “Uh huh. Yeah.” I told him to get my number from Curtis and said that I hoped that he would call me.

Dr. Johnny never called, but he did tell Curtis that he thought I really wanted him. He even wondered what he did four years ago that caused me to still have a thing for him.

Well, at least I made that rumor a bit more interesting. And, come on, who wouldn’t want to do it for (Dr.) Johnny ;)?

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