I get excited when I hear that my friends and readers have used my posts to help explore their sexuality. For some, it might be that anal sex is "A Whole New World," while others are learning more about what pleases them and their partners. Each person has his or her own baseline, proclivities and comfort zones, but I think we owe it to ourselves to try to raise the bar — sexually-speaking.
Raising the bar can mean very different things to different people, and that's perfectly fine. I just think it's important to improve your ability to orgasm and sexual skills, and if applicable, keep the spark in your relationship.
So, with that said, I have a City Girl Challenge for you:
This month, try something new sexually!
"What should I do?" you might be wondering.
Well, think of this like one of those old "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, except for the fact that on this journey, every ending is a good one! Pick whatever idea piques your interest and go for it! There's no right or wrong thing to try or way to do it so just have fun!
Options for those in a relationship:
1. Communicate with your partner and find something that works for both of you! If you can effectively communicate with your partner and maintain (if not increase) the passion in your relationship, you guys will be solid no matter what life throws at you;
2. Or, as a surprise treat for your partner, plan an evening that caters to just her or him and takes you out of your usual routine. Guys, what if you show up at the door with flowers for no reason? Ladies, what if you greet him when he gets home or at bedtime wearing sexy lingerie or no clothes and stilettos?
Then, put your flowers to the side (or keep those stilettos on, for the ladies), and spend time pleasing your partner without expecting anything in return. If he or she insists, say, "This night is all about you!" And, stick to that! Trust me, you'll get paid back in spades;
3. Tight on time, energy or money? Hop in the shower with your significant other and wash and dry him or her from head-to-toe. Start sexting during the day. Leave a romantic or naughty note in his bag or her purse. Meet in the middle of the day for some afternoon delight or "box" lunch;
4. Have more time to spare? Go old school. Spend hours just making out. Will you get hot and bothered? Of course. But, channel all your energy into kissing like you were being judged on it. Get bonus points if you make out in your car or at a movie theater like you really were back in high school. Then, the following evening, have a no-holds barred sex romp;
5. Have you tried anal sex? If you're unsure, why not try my Anal 101 techniques to see if anal is enjoyable for you?;
6. If anal isn't your thing, is there something that you or your significant other haven't done, but think you might enjoy? Have you christened every room of your home? Swallowed after a blow job? Had sex in a semi-public place? Gone down on your woman and used a toy at the same time? A little bondage? Titty fucked? (As an fyi for the guys, if you are putting the canoe in the river between her mountains, make sure that she has already gotten off or that one of your hands or a toy is on her clit. That way both of you can orgasm from the act.) Had a night of only fingering and hand jobs?
Bottom line is to think out of the box and expand your sexual horizons; and
If you watch porn or read a sex book with your significant other, see what new moves or ideas you both can pick up. Ladies, when you are on top having traditional sex, move your body clockwise with hard accents on 12, 3, 6 and 9 on the clock. Start slowly and then increase intensity. That's a great way to hit your G-Spot, and excite the guy underneath you. Or, during anal, clench your ass around the cock and then shake your ass side-to-side hard and fast. The move looks odd and seems frenetic, but it feels amazing for the guy and will give you a different, pleasing sensation.
The visual of watching a porno or reading a sex book should also get you and your partner aroused and communicating about sex. If a porno flick seems too much and you don't want to be perusing through the "Sex" section at your local bookstore, HBO's Real Sex, Cathouse or G-String Divas, or Lou Paget's books off of Amazon should also do the trick.
Whatever makes you and your significant other happy, works! There are no rules here, if you guys are enjoying yourself. Try some of my ideas…or someone else's…or come up with your own. Embrace your sexuality and the fact that sex is fun!
So, are YOU up for the challenge? Ready…set…cum!