Have you orgasmed today? Yes, YOU! If you have, give yourself a pat on the back from me. If you haven't, what are you waiting for? Oh, you're at work, are you? Okay, then maybe now isn't the best time to get your City Girl Challenge Gold Star. But, since you're reading this post already, why don't you keep going and save the ultimate goal for later?
In my last two posts, I answered my friend's question about reconnecting with her husband and threw out some ideas as to how to raise the sexual bar when you are in a relationship. I promised a few tips for my single girlfriends so here goes:
1. Have you had an orgasm? Clitoral? G-Spot? Anal? If you have had one or more of these, great! If you haven't, then why not give it a try?
Most women have the ability to orgasm clitorally so I would start with that. Pick a time when you won't be disturbed. If you need to set the stage for yourself with music, candles, erotica literature or anything else, do so. There's no right or wrong here. You can even start with a few fingers massaging your pussy or bond with your shower head. Then, place a small bullet or vibrator on your clit and enjoy!
If you have mastered the clitoral orgasm, then move on to the G-Spot. It's there, but it can be tricky to find. Don't get frustrated if you can't orgasm on your first attempt or aren't sure if you've found it. You can always get off clitorally and try again another day. My first G-Spot orgasm came from The Rabbit so I recommend that toy as "The Old Faithful."
Is anal of interest to you? Why don't you see if you like it with a small toy inside your ass? Get a good lube and make sure that you orgasm clitorally before you use an anal toy. (It helps to be relaxed and have all the muscles calm.) Again, you might not be sure if you've actually achieved an anal orgasm, but the end goal isn't necessarily the point. Sometimes getting there is half the fun!
2. Have a [insert your name here] afternoon. There was an episode of Sex and the City in which the following conversation took place as the ladies were having drinks:
"What did you do today?" one of the girls asked Samantha.
"I stayed at home and masturbated," she replied.
Mix up your routine and give yourself a block of time to see how often and in what forms you can cum. Have you gotten off clitorally and vaginally at the same time? Clitorally and anally? Used a hand in one place and a toy in another? Figured out how many clitoral orgasms you can have in a row?
If time is tight, why not make rush-hour traffic or a long day of meetings a little easier to bear? This small Lelo vibrator is perfect for having a discreet quickie with yourself!
3. Do something just for you:
Get fitted for the right sized bra. Looking good can translate into feeling good about yourself, and around 85% of women are wearing the wrong sized bra! Find at least one bra with matching panties that makes you feel amazingly sexy and wear the set whenever you need a pick-me-up.
Buy your first porno, erotica book (Anais Nin is a great blend of literary excellence and erotic excitement) or subscribe to a naughty magazine or website. Something that turns you on…that you've wanted to try, but haven't.
4. There's definitely a ready…set…cum portion to this challenge – and my blog. But, a huge part of my strong connections with my female friends is emotional. We are cerebral, feeling creatures and those qualities should be embraced. With that said, I think it's always good to reflect upon where I've been and where I'm going. That might be something you'd also like to try.
Are you single and happy about it? If so, great! If not, are there ways that you can broaden or utilize your social circle to meet guys? What activities do you like to do for fun? Do you know what you're looking for (dating, friends with benefits, a committed relationship) if a guy asks you out? What did you learn from your last relationship(s) that can help you in the future? Do you have any unresolved issues with your ex-boyfriends? (I was the Queen of that problem, but found that time and writing about things in a journal or on this blog helped me to process my feelings and finally move on.)
5. For all women regardless of relationship status, STOP beating yourself up over your body. How many people do you know who are perfect from head-to-toe-to-heart-to-brain? Guess what? None! If you want to lose a little weight or tone up your muscles, I'm not discouraging you from that in the slightest, but work on loving the skin you're in!
Our bodies change after a certain age. (I didn't believe it and then I noticed the differences between 25 and 30.) Having children, smoking and lying in the sun also can affect your appearance, but try not to be self-deprecating about any changes that you see. Look at the guys you know. Do you see any of them freaking out or trying to get laid less because of their beer guts, grey hairs, receding hair lines or cocks with less stamina? No! Do you really think that your current or potential partner cares if you have a few extra pounds or stretch marks on your body? No, he doesn't. We all have physical imperfections, but when you are interested in someone, you look beyond those superficial things, right? So, try to care a little less about your minor flaws and focus on what's sexy about you now!
So…be sexy…be you…and keep cuming! Xoxo
Next Posts: Back to 2005 and filling in the blanks.