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Dinner with the Birthday Boy
After Best Boy and I had sex for the first time, we didn’t talk about what would happen next. I didn't know if we would go back to being just friends or whether the benefits would continue, but I wasn’t preoccupied about the future. Best Boy was nice, and our interaction was easy. I couldn’t help but smile as I got dressed that morning.
When his best friend and my ex-boyfriend, Mr. Exec, called me that same day, I felt surprisingly blasé about it. There was a time when I would have hung up with Mr. Exec to immediately text Best Boy to see if he had told Mr. Exec that we had slept together. But, that wasn’t my mindset anymore. We were all adults. I didn’t need any unnecessary drama. Mr. Exec and I hadn’t seen each other in a month, and Best Boy’s friendship with Mr. Exec was his relationship, not mine.
That Monday in August also happened to be the birthday of my high school love, Boston Christian. Since he was in DC caring for his ill father, I had offered to take him out to dinner to celebrate. Christian and I touched based in the morning, and he mentioned that dinner might have to be on the late side, given what tests the hospital had scheduled for his dad.
Me: No worries! Do whatever you need to do, and we’ll go out when you’re done.
Christian: Thanks! I can’t wait to see you!
Me: Me, too, Birthday Boy.
After we hung up, I wondered if Boston Christian planned to spend the night at my place after dinner. I would never want to be rude to a friend, especially on his birthday, but I didn’t want a repeat of Saturday night’s awkwardness. I also didn’t want to complicate the situation further since it was clear that unhappily married Christian viewed our time together snuggling in a different way than I did.
Christian got stuck at the hospital until 10pm. By the time he arrived at my apartment, he was exhausted and starving from not having eaten all day. We walked into Georgetown to one of the few places that were open at that hour for al fresco dining.
Christian: I’ve been looking forward to this all day!
I sensed that his father’s stroke was weighing on him and asked him if he wanted to talk about things. He looked at me for a moment with a curious expression on his face.
Me: It’s me. Talk.
Much of the next hour was spent discussing the family dynamics that I knew far too well. (He and I have known each other since 1986!) When Christian was ready to change the topic, he asked about my day. I hadn’t spoken to him about Mr. Exec and Best Boy and updated him on recent events.
Christian: You’ve always been a force of nature.
Me [laughing]: I guess.
As we enjoyed our dinner, I finally inquired about what he had said on Saturday night:
So…you mentioned when you were over that you’ve questioned the choice you made a few years ago [to stay with his then-girlfirend (and now wife), Beth, and not try to date me again]. Care to elaborate on that at all?
Christian [looking down at his plate and pausing]: I figured you would ask about that. [He looks up and pauses again.] I’m not sure what I should say. But, yes, I have questioned that a lot.
Me [recognizing that he felt uncomfortable]: Well, I hope that you and Beth find your way.
That seemed easier than saying:
Why did you marry someone you weren't in love with in the first place?
Our dinner was leisurely, but I had forgotten how pensive and introverted Boston Christian was. When we talked about happenings in my life, I noticed that he would repeat what I said and then ask me to elaborate. (My law school clinic partner used to do that to remember information and convey empathy.) For example:
Me: So then Mr. Exec calls out of nowhere this morning, and I don’t know if he’s calling because I ignored him or because I slept with his best friend.
Christian: So…Mr. Exec called you. [Pause.] And you’re not sure if he called to reconnect with you…or because you slept with Best Boy. [Pause.] Is that right?
Me: Yes.
Christian: Tell me more.
After a half-hour of conversation in that manner, I thought to myself:
You could take Beth completely out of the equation, and I’m still thankful that Christian and I didn’t end up together. I love the fact that Christian is emoting and kind as a friend, but I would be bored out of my mind if I dated a guy like this.
Toward the end of dinner, Boston Christian commented:
I really want to wake up next to you again, but I have to be back at the hospital before the doctors arrive for 7am rounds. I also need to go home and get stuff from my dad’s place. Maybe I could stay over tomorrow night instead before I head back to Boston on Wednesday?
I looked in the eyes of my first love and didn’t want to add any disappointment to his week.
Me: Of course.
Christian walked me to my door and gave me a hug. I kissed him on the cheek and said goodnight.
I fell sound asleep. Little did I know that the following night would involve not one, but two, guys over my apartment at midnight.
To be continued…
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