Month: December 2009

Toy shopping for others

I recently overheard the following conversation at Pleasure Place in Georgetown:

Girl [holding her boyfriend's hand and pointing to a vibrator with her other hand]: So…do you think that your sister would like that one?

Guy: I don't know. Maybe she'd like the big black one? That's huge!!! [They laugh.]

I normally don't interject myself into other people's conversations, but I made an exception to that rule on this occasion.

Me: Maybe you should get something smaller or find out what she likes first? [Point to the mini vibrators on the next wall.} Or, ask the salespeople for their opinions. They're very helpful here!

What I really wanted to say was, "Your SISTER?!? Why are you buying sex toys for your sister? Abort mission! Abort!!!"

Unless you know what your friend/relative/significant other likes, I don't recommend going sex toy shopping for him or her. Buying sex toys isn't like buying a popular DVD or a body lotion that smells nice. Sex toys are not generic gifts to purchase since they are by their nature personal. It's also worth remembering that people's comfort levels in talking about sex, testing their sexual boundaries or receiving sexual gifts vary.

Want to explore with your partner or encourage your significant other to try something new?

Talk with your partner first! Communicate about likes, dislikes and sexual goals. Then, go shopping for your significant other. Or, better yet, shop together — either online or at a store. Use the conversation and the shopping experience to grow closer as a couple.

Buying a gift for a friend?

Talk with your friend first! Make sure that you are getting your friend something that he or she would like and use. One of my friends takes her small bullet vibrators with her on vacation, and unfortunately she has a knack for leaving them in hotel nightstands. (Yes, in the drawer with the Bible…) I offered to go get her a new one since I'm in Georgetown so often.

When I arrived at Pleasure Place, I realized that there are bullets the size of my pinky and bullets the size of my thumb. I didn't want to chance getting her the wrong one (you don't mess with your girl's sex toys) so I picked up the phone and called her. She was happy, and I didn't have to worry about coming back to make an exchange!

Shopping for a bachelorette party? Sex toys or gag gifts can be fun. But, is there really a point in embarrassing the bride-to-be with a 10" plastic cock? I don't think so, but to each her own.

Looking for a gift for your relative? Stick with a book or a sweater! Seriously!

It’s Friday and I’m still in love

Friday, September 18, 2009

Buckeyes Boy and I couldn't stop smiling and giggling as we got in my car to go to Safeway. I hoped that my wallet was there, but the store manager said that no one had turned anything in that evening. We walked back to the car.

Me: Did you search all over the car? [Buckeyes Boy nods. I crouch down to look more and sure enough, my wallet is under the floor mat.]

Me: Did you look here? [I pull up the wallet to show him, laughing.]

Buckeyes Boy: I did! It wasn't there. [We laugh and I go around the car to hug him.]

Me: I'm just happy I found it. [I kiss him.] At least one of us has a credit card now! [He had lost his wallet that week.] Let's go inside and get some stuff.

Grocery shopping is rarely fun so it might sound odd to say that we had a great time in the supermarket! We were in the first aid aisle, looking at things to help heal the colony of cold sores on my bottom lip.

Buckeyes Boy: Let me call Nikki [his younger sister]. She had a huge cold sore last month and put some patch on it and it was gone overnight.

His phone didn't have service in the store (we were far from the city, after all) so he borrowed mine and left her a message.

Me: You realize that Nikki is so going to call Tina [his older sister] tomorrow, saying that you just called her about your new girl's cold sore! [We start cracking up, as he hands me back my phone.]

Me: Umm…you didn't end the call!

Buckeyes Boy: What? [Our eyes get really big as we wonder if our conversation and laughter just ended up in the voicemail.]

We were laughing so hard by this point that we had tears in our eyes. He had told me that his sisters never approved of the fact that he dated white women, and we both wondered if the "Cold Sore Call" would just exacerbate the situation.

Nikki called him back in a few minutes and told him which cold sore remedy she used. She didn't mention anything about the message or our discussion afterward. Maybe she just called him right back without listening to everything? Hopefully…

When Buckeyes Boy and I stopped laughing, we returned to shopping. In one aisle, I decided to do a little provocative dance for him with my scarf. He seemed to enjoy it, but I had to bring things down to a PG-13 rating when a teenage bag boy walked down the aisle.

We went down another aisle and Buckeyes Boy stopped me. He put his hands on my face, smiled and looked me in the eyes. He thanked me for dinner and for helping him out since he didn't have his credit card. He told me that he's never met anyone like me…that he feels like he's the lucky one…and how great the past eight days had been.

I was so touched by what he said that I started crying right there in the supermarket. We stayed in the middle of the aisle for a few minutes, hugging and kissing. And, it might just have been the fluorescent lights, but I think I saw his eyes getting watery, too.

Me: I love how we can go from laughing so hard that we have tears in our eyes in one aisle to a heartfelt discussion in another. I also love how you are a strong black man, but you are also comfortable enough to lean on me. [After my experience with Philly Matt, I really liked the fact that Buckeyes Boy didn't feel emasculated if I paid for things.]

We kissed again. (And, yes, all of our kisses were with really open mouths so my yucky bottom lip didn't touch his lips.)

We finished our shopping and headed home. It didn't take us long to get back into bed. I loved our lazy mornings of great sex and long showers together – I could definitely get used to this!

When we were in the shower, I almost asked him to pinch me because it felt like I was dreaming. Everything was perfect!

It’s Friday and I’m in love

Friday, September 18, 2009

Buckeyes Boy and I were going to be moving in together! I was jumping up and down in my apartment and couldn't stop smiling. One of my girlfriends called as Buckeyes Boy and I were snuggling on the couch.

Me [with an incredibly giddy smile]: Is this official? Can I tell her?

Buckeyes Boy [with a huge smile on his face, too]: Sure.

Buckeyes Boy headed to his Dad's place in Maryland, and I talked to a few girlfriends to share my news with them. I decided to take a nap since I was so exhausted from the past week. We were off to a birthday dinner for my girl, AP, that evening, so I wanted to feel my best.

I was starting to wake up when my phone vibrated. A text from Buckeyes Boy:

I've looked everywhere but can't find my credit or ATM card. I don't want to be a burden this weekend so if it's easier, we can just get together to watch football on Sun.

I didn't hesitate and wrote him the following response:

We're a team! I want you with me this weekend and can't wait for you to meet everyone. Come home so we can hook up again before we go out! xoxo

As I was lying in bed, it crossed my mind that since we started dating, we actually hadn't gone out to dinner. We cleared out everything in my fridge before going back to bed. Oh, and one night, we went to my friends' house. I know that some girls wouldn't want to pay for dinner for their boyfriends — ever, but I figured that it would all balance out. Buckeyes Boy was lining up interviews and would be paying rent once he got a job in DC and cleared out his storage unit in Toronto.

A few hours later, he returned from Maryland and we headed out to Sterling, a suburb 40 minutes away from DC. We were the last couple to arrive, and it seemed like Buckeyes Boy fit in easily with my group. And, we just fit together.

I didn't think I could fall for Buckeyes Boy more and then I saw him with my godson. I haven't written about my godson on my blog before, but this little guy had my heart wrapped around his tiny finger the moment that I held him in my arms. I would do anything for this boy and his mom.

Anyway, my godson was 15 months at the time of the dinner, and he looked at Buckeyes Boy as though he was a huge teddy bear (which he kind of is). My godson kept sharing his food with him, and smiling and laughing as Buckeyes Boy played with him. I looked across the table and felt so much joy watching my favorite big man play with my favorite little man that I almost shed tears right then and there.

By the time that appetizers were served, everyone at the table knew the big news about us living together. My friends were really excited for us, but surprised that I was so calm about everything. They kept waiting for me to freak out or get scared, but when they looked it my eyes and watched us together, they knew.

Barla: When it's right, it's right.

Me: I know! I soooo wasn't looking for this.

Barla: That's when it happens!

[Then, AP, Barla and I all get teary-eyed and have a group hug. We are a sappy bunch, huh? Unless we're in Philadelphia…]

I wore a long-sleeve shirt, but that didn't cover all of the ugly bruises on my arms. AP and Barla asked about them.

Me [pointing to Buckeyes Boy]: He did it!

Buckeyes Boy: You asked for it!

[We all crack up.]

AP, her husband and I took turns taking my godson outside so he didn't get bored at the table. I was out with him for about 20 minutes when AP came out to find us.

AP: Buckeyes Boy is great!

Me: Isn't he?

AP: He said some really sweet stuff in there.

Me: He did? Like what?

AP: Well, he asked us if you brought a lot of guys around to meet The Crew. And we looked at him and said, "No! Never!" He seemed surprised, but he smiled, too. He was like a giddy schoolboy, as he told us that this might seem crazy and too fast to everyone else, but that it feels right to you both. He said how great you are and that he's never felt anything like this before.

Me: Really? That's awesome! [Blushing and giggling.] What did you ask him that prompted him to say that?

AP: Nothing! We wouldn't say anything without you there. He just told us all that on his own.

Me: Wow! [I beam as AP hugs me.]

We headed back to the table and asked the server for our check. I looked in my Longchamp backpack and realized that I couldn't find my wallet. Now normally this would be something that I would get livid over, but I couldn't stop laughing.

Me: What are the odds that we met, fell in love and both lost our wallets — all in eight days? Let's go to Safeway [where we were before dinner] and see if I left it there.

Buckeyes Boy: Sounds good. [He kisses me.]

I was in love with the most amazing guy. I could figure out the wallet stuff later.

A 2nd great date

September 2009

My first date with Buckeyes Boy was amazing! I knew that I was attracted to him physically from the moment that I laid eyes on him, but I didn't expect that we would have such a strong emotional connection!

After he left my place to meet his sister, I heard from him later in the afternoon. He said that he was stuck in a heated family discussion at his family's place in Maryland, but that he would come back to DC as soon as he could. I texted him that if he wanted to stay over, we could head out to Northern Virginia to watch football at my friends' house the next day. He said that he would love to! *Sigh*

(Oh, and if you know me in real life or through my blog, you realize that my friends are my family. I rarely – as in, three relationships in 21 years – let guys I'm dating interact with my friends. My friends were thus shocked when I asked if I could bring a guy over to their house. I sensed their surprise, and just said that Buckeyes Boy was different…and special.)

Buckeyes Boy made it to my apartment at 9:30pm. I smiled when he walked through the door, but my big cheesy grin didn't do justice to how I felt. My toes tingled, my heart beat fast, and I had to restrain myself from not jumping up and down! Yes, I was that happy to see him!

Since it was late, we decided not to go out to dinner. I heated up some food that I had in the fridge, and we did almost the same thing that we did the night before. We talked. We laughed. We watched some college football. We connected. Oh, and, we kissed until our lips were sore ;). (I never realized how much I was into biting until Buckeyes Boy came along.)

He told me about the family issues that were going on, and they reminded me a lot of the problems that I've had with my Dad since my Mom died. This was only our second date, and yet I felt like we could — and were — talking about anything and everything with each other. This was unique for me!

Buckeyes Boy and I joked about what we would say when people asked how we met, and that meeting on an online dating site might garner more approval than the truth. I practiced saying, "We met at a Twitter charity event," a few times without laughing, but to no avail.

We both commented how thankful we were that: 1) he had come from Toronto to DC to spend time with his family and decided to volunteer at the event; and 2) I didn't end up going out with my friends that night and instead chose to go to the event to support Miriam's Kitchen and promote my blog. And, being the dork that I am, I let Buckeyes Boy know that he had me at Twestival!

After 1am, we headed into the bedroom. I wanted to have sex with him, but I knew that it was better to wait at least a little bit. And, thankfully, Buckeyes Boy respected that. It was an added bonus that all of that making out was hot enough to tide us over for a while.

The next morning, we stayed in bed late, kissing, snuggling and talking. This all just felt so right, and I felt so much for him so quickly. It seemed surreal, and yet, it wasn't. We were here…together! And, all those trite expressions:

You just haven't met the right one yet;

Love will find you when you least expect it/aren't looking for it; and

When it's right, you'll know…

Suddenly. Made. Sense!