One of my favorite bloggers sent me a great question via comment in response to my Anal 3.0 post:

I am a man and have no interest in anal sex. Does this make me a prude? How should I discuss this with a woman who really enjoys it?

His question made me think about the women who read my posts who have absolutely no interest in trying anal. At all. Ever.

Here are my thoughts:

1. I have no interest in anal sex. Does this make me a prude?

Of course not! Your sexual boundaries are for you alone to set. If anyone calls you a prude and you aren't in junior high at the time, then he or she really isn't someone to whom you should be devoting much energy! (Paging Brooklyn Boy. Paging Brooklyn Boy.)

It doesn't make you a prude, shy or unwilling to explore if you don't care to have anal sex. What constitutes sexual exploration is completely subjective so setting boundaries doesn't just apply to anal sex. You should stick with bedroom activities that make you feel comfortable (and hopefully, aroused). I'm not saying that you shouldn't expand your horizons and try something new, but how far you go and what you do is for you to decide. There is no wrong here. Whatever feels right to you is what's right!

2. How should I discuss my disinterest in anal sex with a partner who really enjoys it?

Anal sex isn't something that you tend to have by accident. Given how tight the anus is and the need for ample lubrication, it's doubtful that your cock is going to slip into your partner's ass. If either partner wants to enjoy some back door lovin', then prior communication is key! (It's not for nothing that in every sex advice post, I stress communication with your partner!)

If you aren't interested in anal sex, be honest and tell your partner why. Then, ask your partner what she likes about anal sex. Those answers might give you some clues as to what she finds so appealing and get you both thinking about how you can replicate the sensation by other means.

Are you open to licking her ass (rimming)? Could you pleasure her anally with fingers or a toy? Could you have oral or traditional sex with her while she has a toy in her ass? Does she enjoy the naughty factor of anal since it's not something that everyone does? If so, is there something else (sex in public, bondage, etc.) that you could try to give her that heightened level of satisfaction?

If the man is interested in having anal and the woman isn't, what could provide a similar tight sensation for him? Would he be open to having traditional sex with a cock ring? Playing with a pussy pocket or Tenga while his girl licks his balls or kisses him passionately? Watching a porn of anal sex while having traditional sex in a position that puts his woman's ass in clear view? Is the female amenable to a finger or two in her ass during foreplay or sex and would that provide him with enough excitement? Would more blow jobs satisfy him?

I think it's also important to determine if anal is a deal breaker for either party or could lead to one partner cheating on the other.

I would hope that everyone would be that open with their partner, especially if they are in a monogamous relationship, but unfortunately, that's not always the case. In the end, it's about communicating with your partner, finding sexual activities that respect both of your comfort zones, and enjoying your sex life!

After writing my previous posts about anal sex, I've received several questions about the topic. Here are some of my thoughts to those questions, as we delve into the back story about anal:*

1. Will it hurt?

Yes, of course. It's not exactly like putting a square peg in a round hole, but there's a reason why some girls comment that their asses are Exit Only. The amount of pain varies, though, depending on how large the relevant body parts are, and your pain threshold.

It will help immensely if you prepare beforehand and have patience during. Try a small toy or finger first. Purchase a high-quality lubricant (Swiss Navy or ForPlay). Take your time and take breaks. Communicate with your partner and make sure he knows that you control the pace and intensity at first. Read some of my other tips about positions that are more friendly for first-timers or those who are experiencing some pain from anal sex.

Rest assured that it does get easier with time and practice. If back door loving is a somewhat regular part of your routine, then eventually, it should only hurt during the first thrust or two, if at all.

2. I'm a straight guy. Isn't anal sex just for gay guys?

No!!! The anus is an erogenous zone, irrespective of your sexual orientation. Yes, homosexual males may engage in anal sex more than the average straight couple. But, why should that concern you any? Your sex life is just that…yours! You should determine what works for you.

Since the ass is naturally tighter than the pussy, anal sex feels different…more intense…and possibly, more pleasurable. An intimate act with your girlfriend or wife doesn't need to be a lifestyle choice or a step on the path toward homosexuality. Think out of the box (pun intended), and with all due respect, check yourself for some homophobia.

If you are comfortable with your sexuality, and you and your woman want to try something new, then why not give it a go? Keep in mind that you can also lay down some ground rules. You may find that you enjoy pleasing your girl anally with a finger, toy, tongue or your cock, but have absolutely no desire for her to touch or lick you in that area. Talk about these things beforehand to figure out both of your comfort levels.

3. I'm worried about…umm…the smell…or anything else coming from back there.

Good question! I think of the book, "The Gas We Pass" and the fact that occasional, minor activity is an occupational hazard with anal sex. Barring a parasite, food poisoning or severe IBS, you should NOT have the same reaction that Tucker Max's girl did during their first foray into anal.

Take your time in the days prior and the minutes before full penetration to acclimate yourself and your ass to the sensation of back door fun. Communicate with your partner (that's a recurring theme if you haven't noticed).

Don't eat a lot of food prior to having anal sex. If you do, some positions might make you feel like you are going to throw up, or toward the end of intercourse, there might be a slight odor in the room. Will it be atrocious? No. But, it will smell like gas or worse (crap).

If that happens, wait until your man cums, laugh about it ("you tapped that ass, baby!"), excuse yourself and come back with a match or candle. It doesn't need to be a big deal if you don't make it one. Likewise, if you feel comfortable enough having anal sex with your man and vice-versa, then you don't need to ignore the obvious.

Try to eat foods that are healthy (low in fat and salt) and more on the bland side to ensure that these things don't arise. If you are on a date with your man beforehand that includes dinner at a fancy restaurant with rich foods, don't deprive yourself, but don't overeat either. (Don't feel bad about any of this either. If you've read my blow jobs posts, I also mention that high salt in a man's diet affects how his cum tastes. Our bodies are wondrous things, but they don't always cooperate as we would like.)

If you have a sensitive stomach normally, be cautious. If you go more than the average person, then don't have anal first thing in the morning. Translation: make sure that you have gone to bathroom and eliminated as much as you possibly can before you have anal sex. That will help make the experience more pleasurable for you both.

There might be a small bit of residue when your man pulls out. If he used a condom, then clean up should be easy. If not, you might want to have a washcloth handy or offer to go get one.

Afterward, you may notice that you are more gassy than normal. (Again, I'm talking about a normal bodily function so don't view this as a big deal.) Logic dictates that the lube and cum that go in have to come out. It won't be anything that your man or anyone else will probably notice, but it's better to know the lay of the land in advance, right?

Happy to answer any more of your questions regarding this or anything else. I wouldn't view any of the above information as a deterrent from anal sex, but rather, that being more informed now may prove useful later.

I walked around Midtown Loft during the DC Twestival, mixing and mingling as City Girl, Relationship and Sex Blogger. I met a few more people, but wanted to get back to my conversation with Buckeyes Boy.

I returned to his table and took a seat on the bar stool across from him. Normally, at an event like this, you give people some space as you're talking to them. My interaction with Buckeyes Boy was different, though. Our feet rested on each other's bar stools…I leaned my body in toward him…his hand brushed against my leg a few times. Being so close to him just felt natural, even though we had only met an hour ago.

We discussed all the topics that you usually would bring up with someone you just met:

Where are you from?
What do you do?
Where do you live in town?

I couldn't stop smiling the entire time that I was next to him. I'm not referring to a relaxed or coy smile here. I'm talking a smile so big that you would think I was competing in a pageant!

Since the Steelers-Titans game was playing on the TV in front of us, our heads turned from time-to-time to catch the game. But, for two football fans, we concentrated much more on each other than the game. And, it was a good game!

The table got pretty crowded as the Twestival organizers finally sat down to enjoy a drink after all of their hard work. One girl accidentally bumped into me, and without hesitating, Buckeyes Boy put his arm around my back to protect me. It was a gesture so simple, yet it made me feel safe.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I was pretty disoriented, and knew that he could tell that from my expression. Rather than giving him one of my pat responses, I said,

"You like football so I'm sure you've heard of Post-Concussion Syndrome. I have it, and crowds and noise make me really dizzy. But, it'll calm down in a minute or two. Thanks!"

(For those of you who don't know me, I don't normally share this much with someone I just met. But, I didn't feel like it was a big deal.)

"You sure you're okay? Do you need anything?" Buckeyes Boy inquired.

"I'm okay. Thanks. I'll just probably head out soon so I can get away from the noise."

Other people walked up toward us, and he put his arm around me again. When he touched me, I felt that spark that you get when you have an attraction to someone. I hadn't felt that in a very long time. And, I couldn't resist doing something that I had wanted to do the whole evening: I put my arm around his perfect, huge biceps and squeezed. He didn't see that coming, but he took it in stride. We both laughed, as I complimented his guns.

Buckeyes Boy asked for my contact info (of course I gave it to him), and we continued talking some more. When halftime came, I told him,

"I should go now, but I've really enjoyed talking to you. I hope that you'll give me a call!"

He offered to walk me out, and we ended up standing outside Midtown Loft for another 30 minutes. There were a lot of people of the street, but with the exception of the odd man carrying nun chucks into Julia's Empanadas, I didn't register what anyone was doing. All of my attention was focused on Buckeyes Boy.

We talked about his experiences playing football in college and what his plans were now that the Twestival was over. He asked if I was taking a taxi, and I said,

"No, I'll walk back to Foggy Bottom."

"Really?" he inquired with concern. "Are you sure it's safe?"

I liked how protective he was of me, even though we didn't know each other well. It also crossed my mind that the third quarter of the game was almost over by this point. Buckeyes Boy was a Steelers fan, and yet, he was missing the game to talk to me. Huh. *smile*

While we were outside, his friend, Paul, came up to him and asked if he was leaving. Buckeyes Boy replied that he would be going back up to the lounge. Shortly after I left, Paul asked Buckeyes Boy about me and learned that we had met at the event.

Paul to Buckeyes Boy: Really? I wanted to approach you, but it looked like you were in a very intense conversation. You guys were standing like an inch away from each other! You really didn't just meet her tonight? [Buckeyes Boy nodded.] Seriously?

Buckeyes Boy had asked me to text him to let him know that I got home safely, which I did. The last five minutes of the game were quite eventful so as he was stuck on the Metro to Maryland, I started texting him with updates from the game.

When he got home, he called me to say thanks and we talked for another hour. I knew that I had met a guy who was fine, nice and cool. I knew that I wanted to see him again soon. But, I didn't imagine two months ago that attending a Twitter charity event would lead to something so wonderful.

(And, yes, I have tears in my eyes as I'm writing. Really. Happy. Tears.)