I’m planning a House “Warming” Party at my condo later this month. I put “Warming” in quotes for a reason. This party is Girls Only, and will feature a workshop and product demonstration from the owners of Dascha Boudoir Boutique. If you’ve heard of these events and are thinking, “Oh! It’s like Slumber Parties,” it is, but only to an extent.

The owners of Dascha are nurses and sex educators by training. I respect any woman trying to earn a living, but Slumber Parties consultants are trained in how to sell products for the company. And, to each their own, but Slumber Party/Pampered Chef/Tupperware events aren’t my style. I don’t want or need to get a vibrator at a discount because I hosted a party, and my wonderful and proud-to-be sexual friends bought a lot of goodies.

Anyway, the women from Dascha have offered to conduct a workshop in addition to the product demonstration and sales. The choices for workshops are:

1. The Orgasm;
2. The Art of the Blow Job; and
3. The Art of Seduction.

So far, “The Orgasm” is in the lead. Hehe. I’m no sexpert, but I don’t really care if we even have a workshop. As I joked with one of my girls, “We could teach this shit!” But, it’s one thing if my friends ask me questions about sex in a small setting. It might be weird if I started conducting seminars in my home. (On second thought…)

I don’t want to leave my friends who wanted to know more about blow jobs hanging, though. So, it seemed like a good time to take a break from 2004 posts to write about my blow job musings. I’ll add some follow-up thoughts to the next posts and relay my answer to my friend’s question about how she can learn to swallow.

As a disclaimer, I realize that all guys are not the same and that what works for one cock might not work for another. But, I’ve given my share of blow jobs over the years so I’m just relaying what I’ve done that’s been very well-received.

1. How hot is your guy? You want your guy hot, not warm. You want to feel how hard he is before you even take his pants or his briefs/boxers off. If you can’t tell if he’s really into it, spend more time with his mouth on your mouth or tits, while your hand rubs his cock over his clothes.

2. Wet is better than dry. You know how it feels if you aren’t wet and a guy goes inside you. Well, that works both ways. I like starting with a hand job before I take the cock inside my mouth. A little bit of your saliva in your palm should do the trick. Another option is a lube or a gel especially for blow jobs called Good Head. Go with the mint flavor and use sparingly for some added tingling.

I love giving blow jobs in the shower since the cock is wet and hard before I even do anything. It tended to work best when Lawyer Boy would stand with his back facing the water, and I would be on my knees, facing him.

3. If you aren’t in the shower, find a place that’s comfortable for you both. I’ve given blow jobs with my man on top of me, but that’s never my preference. (I always feel like that jams my neck and I can’t get as much of my mouth on his cock.) I prefer to be sitting between his legs or on my knees in front of him. Those positions give me the best angle and are more comfortable.

(I’m all for 69s as foreplay, but I never use that position if I’m looking to finish the job. A full blow job deserves my full attention, and I’d hope for the same if my man was going down on me.)

4. Tease the cock for a bit. I take my tongue from the bottom of the shaft (the part facing me) all the way to the top – slowly, lingering for an extra couple of seconds where the tip meets the shaft and then again at the very top. Or, I’ll lick my own nipples and take my tits up and down his shaft for a little. Straight guys like boobs, and few will protest a titty massage of their cocks. (When I’m into someone, I don’t tend to want or tease for very long, but let your man’s reaction be your guide.)

5. When my tongue is at the tip (where the hole is) of the cock, I then take the cock slowly and fully into my mouth, pausing a bit before I take in the last inch. Now, here’s what I do that’s different from most, including the method taught by sexpert Lou Paget…

I don’t use the side of my mouth. I use the center so I can have the guy’s cock all the way down my throat. I feel like that gives me better range, more contact with my lips and tongue on his cock, and less chance of teeth mishaps. If you have a very sensitive gag reflex, that mode probably won’t work, though. But, if you haven’t tried that before, why not give it a go?

6. The rhythm of your mouth going up and down the cock should depend on how your guy is responding (breath, words, moans and/or what he’s doing with his hands). I like to start with a slower pace, build up to a faster pace, move on to a slower pace again for just a minute, and then go for the big finish (jazz hands optional).

A few things to keep in mind:

Take his cock as deep in your mouth as you can as often as you can. When you get to the bottom, stay just like that for a bit before you go back up.

Breathe through your nose so you don’t have to exhale as often. Have you practiced yoga or meditation? Use that experience to your advantage. The more time with his cock in your mouth equates to more pleasure for him.

All hands on cock! Well, maybe not both of them, but at least one. Use your hand to follow your mouth up and down the shaft of the cock. As you go up and down with your mouth, you can also alternate between moving your hand straight up and down the shaft with just gripping the base of the shaft. If balance isn’t a problem for you, take your other hand and gently massage his balls or lick your index finger and rub the sensitive spot between his cock and his ass.

If you are gasping for air, it’s okay to switch things up a bit, but play it off like it’s part of the blow job. (Save the panting and gasping for him, if you can.) Keep your one hand going up and down the cock with a twist of your wrist at the tip. Lick the tip or his balls for a minute until you catch your breath. Or you can use your hand up and down and jerk him off for a few strokes between your tits.

My favorite move is probably taking his cock in my mouth as deep as it can go down the back of my throat, and then as I move my mouth back up, following it with my hand and doing the wrist twist once I get to the tip. (Every guy is different, though, so I hope that you listen and watch his cues, as he does yours.)

All that’s left is what to do when your man is ready to cum, but I’ll save that for the next post and answer my friend’s question at the same time.  I’ll also add a few tips for blow job quickies, which are great for adding excitement or making the “job” more pleasant for those who don’t like this act.

Are there any BJ moves that your man raves about? Any problems or concerns that I didn’t address? Comment, Tweet or e-mail :).

Until then, Bon(er) Appetit!